The hurricane that is my life...

new blog

2008-11-02T00:32:00.000+08:00

in case you still don't know, this blog is dead.

BUT DON'T WORRY!

For all you blog junkies out there, my bew blog is at www.toocoolforwords.blogspot.com

happy reading!!

2008-03-31T23:30:00.003+08:00

Aliens have hijacked my tagboard.
And yes, i'm finally updating.
Someone call the newspaper.
Whooopeee.

Loads of stuff have happened while the com's gone( yes, i didn't go anywhere, my computer did, hence the lack of updates). One the most important of which is, of course, my A'Level results.

General Paper(H1) -A
Mathematics(H1) -SubPass
EnglishLiterature(H2) -B
Geography(H2) -B
Economics(H2) -C

Nothing too fantastic but not too bad either. It would have been nice if there were more A's but oh well.......

Ok..... that's enough for now.

I'm sleepy.

Night.

2007-12-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

My sister is back and thus, phase two of the Battle-For-Bedroom has begun. On the last episode, we saw a steady stream of battle plans being drawn up, though my side eventually triumphed through a mixture of "I need to focus on my A's" as well as my convincing argument as to the validity of the statement "Order within chaos", which i used to describe my bedroom.

THis round however saw my sister crushing mercilessly through my previously effective defenses, with two of her cupboards choc full of her belongings reigning supreme on the left side of my room. Thousands of dust particles met the fatal vacuum cleaner, ending their miserable existence. Never before had the broom and the mop been busier. The battlefield soon encompassed the whole of the house, excluding the kitchen, which is a seperate battlefield altogether.

Now boxes adorn whatever empty spaces there was in my bedroom.

Ok, personally, i'm kinda bummed out right now so i won't try to continue with this.

You know how spring cleaning is like. It;s kinda like that, except that spring is long gone and not much cleaning is being achieved.

Going out for dinner later though. I heard the word 'Banquet' coming out of someone's mouth. Yes. My parents think that eating at Banquet is considered fine dining. Swensen's is considered a rip off.

2007-11-27T10:43:00.001+08:00

My birthday came and went and I didn't get a single Munchy's peanut butter donut... other than the one I bought for myself.

I KNEW the hint wasn't clear enough. Or they just palin ignored it. Anyways, I don't think I'll ever hint for anything ever again. So unglam. Especially when they are ignored.

Other than that, my b'dae bash with the gang was awesome!!!! I love blackforest cake! Thought the one we bought was kinda more creamy then cakey.... and used grape cream instead of grape jam.... but it was still NICE!!

And I've got the best present ever.......... MY TWELVE YEARS OF FORMAL EDUCATION IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm praying really hard for me to upgrade to tertiary education after NS. Prayer. They are always answered, one way or another. Oh no... its like hinting for donuts all over again.

Anway, I'm now supposed to be free for the next two weeks before NS BUT BECAUSE I ACCOMPANNIED SOMEONE, I"VE LANDED MYSELF WITH PERFORMANCES> And of course, ALton just HAD to go to Perth. HE had better stay there until 11 Dec.

But of course, I love singing so I don't really mind. I ust hope the number of shows are...well....reasonable. And not like last year where I keep jumping groups and spend more on transport than anything else. Yes. Even more than food. Yes, gasps, I know.

I like to eat.

Anyway, at least my two weeks looks to be packed with activites. And i'm not experienceing the "I've got nothing to live for" syndrome some people seem to be experiencing, those that have no idea what to do and are too damn lazy to get a job. Hmmmm...... actually, if it weren't for NS, I'd probably be among those people. But seeing as I've still got carolling,i guess i'm not totally jobless. The pay could be better though. I would say that it's a hint but its gonna be ignored so....

And i love cheesecake. I had SaraLee the other day and............aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh...........

2007-11-05T21:20:00.000+08:00

Had my third paper today. You know what? I thought i'd be able to cathc up on some last minute revision over the weekend so on saturday i went to Sunplaza Mac to study Popoulation Geography, which is tested in Geography Paper II, which i thought would take place today. Instead, yesterday, i checked my entry proof and found out (luckily or unluckily; i can't decide) that today would be Geography Paper ONE.

Thus, i had a big headache scrambling to crash Lithospherical Processes and Hydrospherical Geography into mypanicked brain, as well as some Atmospherical Geography for Data-Response Questions and back-up plan for essay. Glad to say, judging from how i managed to COMPLETE the paper( this is quite an accomplishment i can assure you, for the guy who left one entire drq question out for his prelim one and one entire essay out for prelim 2) and from how i KNOW what i was writing about(quite reassuring for me, yes), i think i pulled it of.

Not to mention I got a head start on Human Geography. Hmm.... I think Sun Plaza Mac is the best place I've studied at so far.....

However, to achieve an A for Geography (I think this is why it's called the A levels; any other grade is just....blah... to get), i would need to really do really well for Human Geog.

Then before this paper i had the Math paper(dies) and before that i had General Paper(hmm..gah, stupid essay)..... thing is, i have absolute confidence of passin BUT i think that the best that might happen is I get to somehow scrape an entrance into a degree course that i can tahan. Because all of the courses i am aiming for, though theri requirements are not at all that demanding, are always popular with those other brainiacs and muggers.... like Law(BIG money there) and Journalism. I will die if i go to some IT course and if i get stuck in some course like Economics or Geography.....somebody kill me. I won't mind anything to do with literature or maybe even a degree in english or even..sociology or....or philosophy.

And my mum and dad seem so confident in my abilities, somehow thinking i would be able to pull off something like i did with my O levels (that was a bit of shock, no really).

Worse comes to worse, i'll just retake or get some cash somehow to go overseas and study.

Gah!!!!

But i'm currently hanging on and I'd like to think that when the pressure really builds itself up on me, I'll push back. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Since i'm bad at science, i'll probably over exert and produse a hugely unequal reaction ! ^___^

I just.....wished i was in Uni already......

Lucky Kavitha, she's already in Arizona State Uni.......without even taking A's!!!

Oh well.......

Gaaah!!!!!!

Sighs.......

I think i spend a lot.

Random thought of the day: I hate light green but my favourite colour is dark, forest green. hmmmm......yeaup. I'm stressed.

2007-10-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

I found my MagicCard Album....

It wasn't even in my room......

It was in my parents'........

And I don't know why.....

hmmmm.............

Went to schoolo today. Saw Yu'an. She and her study buddies were too busy playing games to study :P (Hahas, just HAD to say that!)

We are having people over now for Hari Raya visit. NO, it is not and Open House(sorry guys), just some friwnds of my Dad's popping over.

Saw some interesting vids about Singapore in YouTube. Some political, some funny, some downright embarrasing(especially when you look at our Idol/MissUniverse contestants; don't worry, Hady and Taufik are still good) and some just...like 'what?'.

I have my fist two papers next week and I'm commenting on Hady. Gosh.

Will continue to study tmr. Wait, that's what i ALWAYS say at night, before...errr.....doing other things. No, not THAT thing. You pervs.

If someone makes a really mean joke about someone else, and I laugh, am I a bad person?

2007-10-24T00:20:00.000+08:00

I shall not update this blog for a long time after this post because I am holding it ransom against myself, meaning that i cannot update this blog unless my A-Levels revision is done and over with. Of course, it may just lead to me never updating again but, really, i don't think it will be effective at all, even if it is MY idea. I mean, what am I going to do if I don't finish my revision? Throw my blog off a bridge? Kill it? I think the most likely scenario would be me rolling my eyes at myself, blaming it on a moment where I was intoxicated by milk and caffeine and thus prone to making flaky promises. To myself, of all people.

Promises. Something fragile that needs to be kept properly lest it be broken. Once broken...... New ones pop up. Like a virus. Promises are viruses. Too many and you get cancer. Taken lightly, it might just kill you. Treated right, and you may just come out of it a better person. Not to mention that they kind of rhyme. Oh goodness. I'm a lit student and my analysis is that 'they kind of rhyme'? Panic button dully pushed.

Its going to be one soon and i want to finish reading what i need to. I will not say what it is because the mere mention of it will probably put you to sleep. Just so you know, i have three mugs beside the computer right now, one previoulsy filled with tea, another previously filled with instant mocha and another with milk. Hmmm.....not sure why i told you that but, will do.

I can't find my MagicCard album, the one with all the rare cards in it. Now is probably not a good time to be looking but it just can't seem to get out if my mind...............

2007-10-19T20:18:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDvbPj0-B3U

it's sad when you look at the talent on the streets in Singapore and compare them to the ones you see on talent shows. This here is Nana who joined many such competitions and she's got an unbelievable voice. Of course, the judges on those shows are not to be blamed(fully). Singaporeans need to learn how to vote properly.

2007-10-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

Ok. I'm sorry for not updating. Yes, I know. I'm lazy. You're bored. You need me. Lol. Aman( a friend from school) says i have the most uncanny ability to turn almost any conversation to myself and how i am just astoundingly shameless is being able to praise myself while putting others down. Thanks Aman. I know how good I am. You didn't have to tell me. (nah, just jking)

Anyway, it is now two weeks exactly to the first paper for my A-Levels and I am FREAKING OUT!! Internally. Externally, I'm still dozing off in random times fo the day. Which is worrying. People, when they are stressed about their exams coming, do the sensible thing and study. I, on the other hand, indulge myself in escapism and sleep. Lalaland is just so....blissful. Until you wake up of course. Then the whole vicious cycle starts all over again.

Btw, a boy aged between five and ten was found dead in in a black suit case in a pond in Australia today. I just don't understand how people can continue doing such things to INNOCENT children while people like my younger brothers are still left to rampage around. No, i don't mean that. That'll be a wast e of good suitcases.

Oh, btw, its Hari Raya now but frankly, i'm not up to celebrating much. I'm just too worried. And when i worry, i sleep. So you'll either be confronting a very worried or a very much asleep me. Unless of course, i gain enough wisdom to actually make use of my time studying. Talk about rare moments of magic.

And, just so you know, its confirmed that i will be enlisted for NS on the 11th of December this year. I am posted to SCDF.Given a choice, i think i might try out for a paramedic vocation. I just don't like burning buildings all that much. Maybe i'll even get a driving license out of it. Of course, driving like your car is an ambulance isn't exactly a good thing....

I am alarmed to note that i have begun to fantasise myself as a character in Pokemon/HarryPotter/StarWars(jedi Knight to be exact) at random times of the day. As if a quest for knowledge isn't enough, I actually enjoy imagining myself as a target of Voldermort or a Sith. I'll be imagining myself as a desperate schoolboy next....oh wait! Been there done that. Erm...desperate to pass exams btw. Not desparate in any other way. Yet.

I hear a new university is being opened, or at least being planned to open soon. Good. I think it should be named Innova University and situated in Woodlands. That way, I can claim that my entire education experience took place in Woodlands. When i become famous, Woodlands can become a heritage zome or something. People will be going, "Wow....Mr. Muhammad Hidhir used to walk along these very same streets....OMG! THAT'S 883! WOODLANDS NORTH PLAZA!! HE USED TO BUY CHICKEN RICE THERE!!!"

Talk about imagining other worlds.........

Yes, I'm doing it again.....

I like the peanut butter donuts from Munchy's!!!!!!

2007-09-29T09:40:00.000+08:00

Tootoootoootoootoototototoototototototooyoutoootooooototootototototoot

That was me cursing by the way. Nah. Not angry. Just abnormally frustrated out of my wits and bored to boot.

Life......is a test. So far.....i have doubts passing.

Same goes for my 'A' levels.

2007-09-18T14:50:00.000+08:00

YAY. Prelims are over. now i am, relatively, free and thus able to go out if any of you are planning anything. But no going for lunches. I'm fasting. Lol. And happily losing weight.

I don't know what i should do over the next few days. Sleep comes to mind but sleeping for three straight days isn't healthy. At all. Then again. So is being stressed :P

So i think i will just...you know, slack for a day and a half or two, before going back to (attempts at) revision. Or maybe just do the readings I have accumulated for all my subjects. Gotta give at lest some meaning to the death of thousands of trees, complimentary of our education system.

Which brings me a brainwave. It is widely known that to solve a problem completely, one must completely uproot and obliterate it using sustainable, long-term solutions. Such as banning homework. Or at least, homework that exceeds two pieces of writing paper. Per week. For all subjects combined. Hah.

Call it wishful thinking, but we have technology at our fingertips, don't we? According to the Hedonist's way of thinking, mankind is an infinite source of solutions to help combat any problems we face. Which is kinda funny since we are also an infinite source of problems too. Anyway, back to technology. What's the use of technology if we don't use it(provide every student with a laptop). Sure, it'll cost money(since the laptops had better be free... or at least heavily subsidised) but then again, what's the use of money if we keep hording it, without using it for practical purposes? Like free laptops for all students(with warranty, mind you)?

I think what keeps us back is basically human instinct. We can always clain to be optimistic about the future but even the world's foremost optimist(my mother) has been known to say, "Just in case." Those who don't probably goes by the name of Bart Simpson(he's no optimist, he's just stupid) or SpongeBob SquarePants(and co.). But not everyone can hide out in the middle of the ocean, inside a pineapple, with a pink starfish whose best friend is a yellow, absorbant thingy with holes wearing pants.

Thus. New laptops. Think about it. (of course, for poly students, you already have your own so....hmmmm....ah well, rant about it)

Goodness me, is that a pink fish outside my window? ooh, pweety pwink fweesh............

Yes. I know. I scare myself sometimes too.

It was actually a pink dolphin.

2007-09-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

WILL CONTAIN RELIGIOUS CONTENT( so those who are uncomfortable, pls skip)

Am feeling rather angry rigth now. was browsing through Youtube when I came across videos condeming MY religion and from there, found an entire 'war' between Islam and Christianity.

And the fasting month is coming. should not stay angry. should not be angry. it's very... dehumanising, some of the comments, painting us like we've got nothing else better to do than sit around making homemade bombs and setting them off someplace. please, if all Muslims act like that, considering there are around 2 billion of us, there wouldn't be a YouTube. there wouldn' even be a computer because it's full of components that go BOOM if you fix it a certain way.

And no, I personally am against any violence, any type of violence actually. I don't think i've thrown a (serious) punch in my entire life. though i do give a liberal amount of pinches to my bros. Its just so.....graaaaahhhh. Though I'm against it, it is understandable now, to me, why many Muslims in the West are angry, suspicious and even paranoid (a percentage of Muslims in the U.K are convinced there is a conspiracy against them, and the numbers are growing). Sadly, not many excercise the self-control and patience Islam preaches and instead resort to other avenues of seeking redress other than prayer.

Sigh...... to those who have any questions about Islam, do feel free to ask me or any of your Muslim friends for clarification on the religion.

And just to show that the Holy Quran does not advocate war or promote it, this is the verse that proves it.: "And fight in the Way of Allah THOSE WHO FIGHT YOU, but transgress not the limits. Truly, Allah likes not the transgressors."

From Surah Anfa'l.Ayat 61: "But if they incline to peace, you also incline to it, and trust in Allah.Verily He is the All hearing, the All Knowing.And should they seek to deceive you by their show of peace--verily, Allah is enough for you."

Thus, this clearly shows that war is only justifiable as a means of self-defence. Unfortunately, there are those who resort to the 'cut and paste' method when discrediting Islam, twisting the meaning totally out of historical context or giving incomplete verses, thus resulting in "And fight in the Way of Allah" which can be taken from one of the above quotes. and sadly, it is often the media that does this, thus resulting in widespread ignorance and rancour.

We are human beings too, you know. We (the majority) will not follow so blindly so as to commit inhuman acts in the name of religion. those who do so are either mad, desperate or evil.

I'm just glad I live in Singapore. Again, the West portray this country as some dictatorial island state that is money-minded and mindless. If you look carefully, it is the people who are better off in the end. I believe Singapore is a shining example of what a modern, peaceful society should be. Btw, see the YouTube video about Eddie Guerrero ( the wrestler) visiting Singapore and eating beefball soup. He was convinced they were cow's 'nuts' if you know what i mean. Totally funny....

2007-09-07T02:24:00.000+08:00

Wanted to rant about my siblings but decided they are not worth my time and effort. I don't hate them. I just don't like them. In particular the two younger than me.

And they are evicting me from my room to what had been my sister's room for the past 11 years, claiming that in this way, all the boys will have their own personal space (funnily enough, in the same room, which doesn't get more impersonal) while the smaller room(currently mine) will be perfect for my sister who will have it to herself. Despite the reasons given, all I can think about is how they are taking away from me the room with the computer and the only working ceiling fan in the house, not to mention a great view to the garden-like badminton court behind my flat. And i don't get the personal space argument. My brothers use my room and my sister's for personal space, especially since my sister is not currently living with us.

And with their ongoing 'clean-up' of the rooms, I have not seen my house messier than it is in the past five years or so. maybe longer. And, as you all know, the timing for all this is just perfect.

Now my notes are strewn across...everywhere and while i was able to keep track of where they were....now..... lets just say i hope those notes i don't have with me are not at all that important.

I will not blame this episode for what might be dismal prelim results. That would be just plain immature. Just like how my two brothers are now so gleeful, once in a while popping up beside me, sneering "You don't have your own room anymore."

And they still wonder why i don't study well at home....... my mum is convinced its because of the supposed mess that is my room. It's not t all messy to me. I know where each, relevant little thing was. SIGH. Was.....

I am not at all happy about this, in case you are wondering. Of course, it might have something to do with how not a single person has asked exactly how i feel about this. No. They just drop the bombshell on me two days ago, explaining what they are doing and why. Not even a semblence of a permission was asked for.

When I get rich and famous(refer to previous post on fantasies), I'll get each member of my family their own suite of rooms. And lock them up there and conveniently misplace the keys..... maybe somewhere in the Pacific.....

2007-09-03T03:09:00.000+08:00

Muahahahas....BOW TO ME!!!

I am listed amongst TIMES Magazine's top 100 most influential people in their most recent rankings, at 100th place.......along with all the other bloggers on earth but that is completely besides the point. Haha. Me. Sorry....am currently amusing myself for the sole purpose of amusing myself. And of course, to distract me from doing what I really should be doing. Sleeping.

No reall, its 3 o'clock in the morning, and no one, not even the most die hard A' Level student have any business studying this late. Unless he just woke up or had an overdose of caffeine/sugar/chocolate/everything mentioned.

As for me? I have no excuse, other than an extremely warped biological clock that constantly mistakes the moon for a sun and the night sky for a bright, sunny morning. And what do i do? I blog about it. Extend my influence. Let all insomniacs know they are not left to suffer in silence, though it is kinda quiet. Hmm.... if I am a fictional character, I would most likely want to be a vampire. Pale, good looks, immortality, babes just falling for that oh-so-mysterious aura that in actuality is just a concentrated cloud of pheromones designed to kick start the auto-pilot section of the average human brain.... not to mention a cool manor and wrinkle free skin for all eternity. And maybe I'll even pass NAPHA, with astounding vampiric grace and unnatural agility and speed. Not forgetting of course, the unrivaled popularity in the form of burning torches, wooden stakes, pitch forks, Buffy-wannabes and, in the asian context, a fu talisman on the head.

And with all eternity to spend, who needs to study? I'll just say, "My cert or your blood." and all will be well.

Hmmm..... I really should stop drinking coffee......

2007-08-31T19:27:00.000+08:00

Came across this poem on the net. One of the best ones I've ever found on friendship.

A Tear Fell
by Marge Tindal

I shed a tear today

Silently, I felt it fall

You caught it

shared it

held it

felt it

then

suddenly

it wasn't

so big

after all

Oh well, back to whatever it was i was doing before this.....

2007-08-29T22:14:00.000+08:00

Have you ever really thought about where you would be ten years from now? No, not just wondered about it, or dreamed about it, but really really try to envision it based on the direction your present is pointing towards to right now? Would all of us be graduates? Part of the bourgeouisie? The hoi polloi? Would we be considered part of the elite even? Or somehow trapped in the bottom rungs of society? Would we be married, with the first or second child on the way, living in our own apartment? Would we even have a job? Maybe an overseas job? Would our families have gotten bigger? Or, God forbid, smaller?

It just seem so uncertain, so many variables and factors way out of our control. Would we be one of those who fight tooth and nail for our salaries, or one of those earning thousands, even while on vacation? Maybe a long lost relative would emerge, dying and looking for inheritants for his vast, business empire. Maybe a catastrophic disaster wrought by global warming will wipe Singapore of the map. Maybe the whole world will plunge into World War III, causing world wide recessions and destruction. Maybe Singapore Idol will make a comeback with real singers.

Maybe...maybe...maybe........

And i can't even keep tabs on my marks right now, much less my fate and future....

As for me, I've always nursed this desire to be a well known singer..... or the long lost relative who is vastly rich and dying and looking to dump his billions (might as well dream big) into the pocklets of his long lost relatives(us) who he hopes he will be able to share a closer relationship with in his last, dying days....

Fine, he doesn't really have to DIE but it would be nice if billions of dollars were to appear in my pockets right now. Or my bank account. My mum will no doubt have me share with my brothers.....

2007-08-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Urmmm.....ok....so I'm a kid. Hear that people? I am perfectly entitled to eat Happy Meals and rides on the carousel. Now, if only there is some way to shrink......

You Should Rule Mercury

Close to sun, Mercury has very long days - and is rarely visible to the rest of the solar system.

You are perfect to rule Mercury, because you live for the present - and can truly enjoy a day that goes on forever.
Like Mercury, you are quick and elusive. Your wit is outstanding, and you can win any verbal sparring match.

Some people see you as superficial, but in truth, you just play many roles and have many interests.
A great manipulator, you usually get what you want from people. And they're happy to give it to you.

What Planet Should You Rule?

Hmmm....interesting.....wonder what NASA will make of this. Heard it's hot there though so.... I'll pass. Send an agent in my stead or something... property market is doing good now, I heard.

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I see now why these things are addictive. They make you feel good about yourself. And if they don't, you can always redo it and lie.

2007-08-17T14:08:00.000+08:00

Decades ago, long before I was born, there lived seven siblings, Indonesians that were people of Palembang (differentiated from the Bugis, Achenese, Balinese...Palembangese?). If you remember from secondary school history classes, it was a prince of Palembang who gave Singapore its name and who later wnet on to found Malacca. These seven siblings were descended from the Panglimas, a caste of warriors who were mostly distantly related to the royal line.

In search of a better life, they decided to set sail. They have heard of the colonies of Indonesians who have made their homes in the Malay Peninsular, then under British rule, that were said to be more prosperous than can ever be dreamed of. Setting sail on their rakit, a seaworthy type of boat, they set sail from Palembang, located on the island of Sumatra, to what is now present day Malaysia. Some descended on Muar, some on Malacca, the rest on Penang. Among those who stopped at Malacca, there was one who became known as Tok Bakar, a blacksmith. His skill as a metalworker was a source of pride for his Kampung, enough to later name the street his workshop was located in after him: Jalan Tok Bakar.

Tok Bakar later fathered children who later went on to grandchildren and more descendents, among whom is my paternal grandmother. So it appears that I'm descended from the Panglimas of Palembang, which according to my father, explains my family's generally tall stature because, for apparent reasons, those who are chosen to be warriors are most often tall and well built. I can attest to the tall part i think.

My mother was from a Chinese, Teochew, family that had too many mouths to feed and thus was put up for adoption and later accepted by a childless Malay family. My mother's Malay family was, according to her, the wealthiest in the village, with them being one of the few able to afford a house made of bricks and education for her and her other, adopted brother. She was leter the only one from her village to graduate from high school and later on went to complete her 'A' levels. Then, due to financial constraints after her father retired, she went on to join the CID branch of the police force and later on met my father who was working with airport security. At that time she was already a divorcee, with three children from a previous marriage. Then I was born.

So apparently, I have cousins and relatives who are Teochew and Malaysians who I don't really know at all, save for a few. My father, when told of the tale of the seven siblings by my grandmother, was sceptical of course, until he met an uncle and another relatiove who narrated the same story. And who later onpassed it to me.

I guess I really want to remain attached to whatever history and heritage my family has.

Not sure why I posted this....

2007-08-17T12:03:00.001+08:00

I'm sick. I'm exhausted. Broke. And I need to change my specs. Gah!!!

It's been what i think quite an unproductive few days. Have been feeling out of sorts since...well... since I started JC I think... and my "A"s are not going to miraculously postpone itself. Unless of course, Innova JC becomes the sole target of terrorrists bent on crusading against flood-prone buildings with too much millipedes and too little library space.

I really should be taking better care of myself. But really, I'm not all that convinced I have enough time to exercise. I'm already walking to and fro, and 1km, per day, from my house to schoool and back. Guess it's not enough huh? Should start running then. or mybe I should go run in the morning, hit the tracks. *snorts* hah. my biological clock appear to have an aversion to waking up before 7 a.m. Gaaaah!!! *literally hits the track*

Hmm...teachers day coming.... not sure if the class have enouh funds to afford presents for all the teachers. Some of us have trouble paying for all the notes. I mean, $10 per week is reasonable, i guess, but i can't help but think it should all be paid for along withthe school fees or something. Even textbooks at the beginning of the two years would have been cheaper I think. Oh wait, some DID tell us to buy textbooks. and never referred to them in any way except for, "actually ar, those textbooks are not very good. the ones in the library better."

Hmm....back to my health troubles. I think i should eat more fruits and veggies and vitamin supplements. In fact, come to think of it, my meals have been sort of irregular....but I've never been starved. being and ex-F&N student, i know meals are encouraged to be taken at regular times everyday but I've never actually heard of people falling sick due to irregular meals...

Aah...the weekend is here. More time to practice questions? catch up with homework? revise? All of the above? it seems so.

SIGH........

2007-08-11T01:36:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm.....attended Mr Chu's bbq today, held for the UK tripees and his tutorial class(33A). His condominium was......woah....I'd definitely want to live in a place like that in the future. I could see it already: me, lounging by the pool, sipping a glass of ice cold green tea and getting a nice tan while babes wade around in....you know... against a tropical backdrop of flora and fauna, once in a while working out at the gym and basically just staring into space, thinking about how rich i am......

anyway, the food was great, of course, prepared by me and a few others....fine, Wilson, Samuel and Aman probably did the same amount of work, maybe more, into getting the food ready. it was really good; no chow tar or bloody chicken served at all. I think our bbq skills get better with age.

Played a bit of basketball, watched ppl played pool(my skills are rather...err...non-existent), played DaiDee(Tai Tee? Dai Tee? Tai Dee? Ti Dy?), gossiped, catched up, met some new people, made fun of friends....all the things you usually do at a bbq.

A great day. After that, we got to see Mr Chu's home. i think it was rather tasteful, simple, classy but not too extravagant. His tiles are the most prominent features I think. Not only were they marble, they were polished and glazed, to the point where it was so shiny, wearing a skirt, no matter how long, would be indecent. Ok, maybe it wasn't that shiny. But wearing a skirt would still be embarrasing.

Then whil some went home after that, me, Wilson, Albert, Samuel, Jessica, Kristy, Marcus, Gina, Michelle, Dylia, Aman and Shu Duan went for a drink at MacDonalds at Bukit Panjang Mall. Played cards(you shld know what game), talked a bit, drank(Coke) and talked.....then half of us hitched a ride with Gina's father's 7-seater to come back to Woodlands since the MRT and bus services were closed for the night.

There. A summary of what could possibly be the best day of this month.

Siti Nurhaliza vs. every single diva in Philippines' history

2007-08-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

While listening to Siti Nurhaliza's songs in Youtube, i came across a particular video comparing her to Asia's songbird Regine Velasquez from the Philippines, apparently one of many whoese creators were obviously angry that Siti Nurhaliza was dubbed the best singer in Asia. This was due to, as I perceived it, Siti winning the GrandPrix Award in a prestigious Asian singing competition, the highest honour the competition could award.

Of course, this recognition as "the Best Voice of Asia" irked fans from the Philippines, a country with perhaps the most internationally recognised and eminent singers hailing from Asia, with names such as Lea Salonga, Tony Award winner, the singer who brought to us the much loved 'Reflections' from Mulan(in the movie) and the voice of Jasmine in 'A Whole New World'.

And thus began the squabble, with fans from both sides posting videos comparing the prowess of each singer. Of course, as with all historically silly squables, it escalated indefinitely, withe Siti being compared to other Filippino divas and vice versa with Regine Velasquez.

I admit that I took the side of Siti's fans(I love her after all :). But after a few days, I realise that the argument is getting no where. Fans on both sides are stubborn, both sides beginning to argue and compare just about everything, from GDPs to landscapes to economy to standard of living to language the smell of each singer's underarms(sadly true). Apparently Regine's smells better to the Tagalog speakers while Siti's was preferred by those of the Malayan Peninsular.

As you can see, the argument was more about nationalistic pride than vocals. Even when I said that I was not a Malaysian, they label me as a Singaporean Malay and thus of Malayan blood and thus a Malaysian. If that logic applies, I guess I'm also from China because of my mum and North Indian because of my great-grandmother.

It just goes to show how maniacally senseless things are getting. I've seen both singers and I highly recommend both of them to anyone looking for highly talented, gifted and controlled singers. Each have their own definite style, tone and areas of speciality. I especially applaude Regine for her powerful renditions of English ballads. Siti's (mostly Malay) songs are a favourite among those who understands them, some being a blend of Middle Eastern lements and traditional Malay music (like Balqis and Nirmala). Her Malay ballads are also very commendable. She lacks somewhat in English songs I'm afraid, being a village girl before stardom.

Thus, to both fans from both sides, I do hope you will somehow see that there will be no concession from either side and that the best possible solution is to agree to disagree. Enjoy the songs from your favourite singers and leave others' alone.

2007-08-06T20:33:00.000+08:00

I'm really really tired of studying. I wann go out and......not study. Is that soo much to ask? Well.....considering my whole future is at stake and this is the so-called climax of my education in Singapore....I guess it is.

Guess what. You are now reading the blog of the top scorer for the J@ cohort for IJC Prelim I's General Paper!!!
Haha. I know!!! I didn't expect it either. Me? Lol.......actually, I was kinda hoping for it. Didn't know it was possible though. There are so many out there in IJC that I knew from RS who i thought are worthy masters of the language as well. Even within my own class, there are those(non-RS-ians) that i know will be able to beat me if i rest on my laurels, and if they try their very best. But I am proud of my class. Xinni got third, with identical makrs as the second ranked, in the cohort while Wei Jean got 10th. Natria was also ranked 12th. Maybe the competition will spur me on. I know i got a lucky break because of the essay. The question was simillar to one i had attempted before and I used the same examples, though I added a few new points that were relevant for the question and excluded those that were not. maybe I'll get a lucky break for the A's!!! Nah, shouldn't be telling myself such things. Will only make me
complacent and too reliant on fate.

N ow for econs and math, i really need to buck up. Oh man. Shit. I really DO need to buck up. Especially since i know i have done well for econs before and can do so again.

Oh, the librarian(i'm in the school library) is gonna lock up now. I gtg. 'till next time.

2007-07-21T13:52:00.000+08:00

Ok, i've gotten back my prelim one results, which are as follows:

General Paper: B
Mathametics(H1): U
Geography(H2): D
Eng. Literature(H2): C
Economics(H2): U

Kinda sucky...though I did improve for GP, Geog and Lit since the block test. But I know i can do better. So much better. Which is why I am now going to keep staying back after school to study. At the very least until 8 or until I'm done for the day. Then I'll need to consult my tutors. What Ms Shen, my econs teacher, told me the other day is still reverberating in mind. I'm not gonna state here what she said but i believe it will i will be better because of it.

I want to get As for my grades at the end of the year. I know i can do it, if i work really really hard. And I'm not the only one. I've seen my class, some of their work, some of their strngths and weaknesses and in my mind i cannot see them as anything else but future graduates. But some of them still need to wake up lar.

Sigh, and I am currently under a dilema right now. I want to go to Promnite but I'm kinda hesitant about asking my parents for the $7o needed by this Monday. I know things aren't really going well, especially my mother eversince she got 'fired'. Now she's trying to kick start another business venture and, well......i just don't want to make things difficult.

Contrary to what some might believe, my family is in no way well off though we are not exactly poor either. Of course, I can probably use my savings, except that after the UK trip effectively wiped out 3/4 of my savings, I'm kinda... scared. What if i need the money for more important stuff in the future? But then, this is probably the last chance I will get to attend prom. And it would make a fitting celebration to the end(hopefully) of twelve years of formal education. Not to mention it would probably be the last time I get to have fun with my classmates and great friends I have made in IJC.

But i guess i should worry more about my a-levels huh?

2007-07-10T15:14:00.000+08:00

HEllo all!

I love harry potter, as most of you know, so please help me(or yourself) Save the Harry Potter books by signing an online petition which will, hopefully, help make a difference! The link is right below.

http://www.saveharrypotter.co.uk/

2007-05-28T22:09:00.000+08:00

WE BLOGGERS SHALL TAKE OVER THE WOOORLD!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hmm..... interesting thought, that......

My day today is a sad, sad reminder of what has happened to our holidays. Remember that holiday where yo have no extra classes, not CCA, no meetings in schools, not school relate stuff, ever? No? Neither can I. Oh wait. Primary school. Wow. What a relief.

Hmmmm...........just felt like blogging today but have no idea what to blog about so, I shall resort to this.

RANDOM RAMBLE

I do not like perfumes. I can only stand a few, from my experience, one of which is my dad's regular cologne. And another one is from one of those high class brands which I can't for the life of me pronounce nor remember how to spell.

I know it's good(and sometimes imperative) to not smell bad but I don't see why a shower with soap can't do the trick. I mean, think about it, if you put on perfume, you are going to reek of that smell for the next few hours. And if you prespire, you are going to reek a mixture of both perfume and perspiration. Not a pleasant combination.

But perfumes do have its good points I guess. For a fancy dinner, for a date, for a morning in which you woke up late and have no time to bathe.... It makes sense to buy and use these products. And it's also some sort of like a trademark. For example, everytime I smell the cologne in my dad's room, it reminds me of him. Because our brain always make these kinds of associations that usually helps us in our daily lives.

There, a random ramble and consequentially, a post.

2007-05-27T14:51:00.000+08:00

MY 100th POST!!!!!

In line with this momentous occassion, I will try to put up happy and cheerful things up, for this post only. I won't even be sarcastic!!!

HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!! In true school holiday tradition, I will now post a list of things to do which are most likely not going to be done but will be put up anyway.

Go To U.K and ENJOY myself.
And to NOT sleep through it like I(regretably) did at U.S.
Clean my room. (Why do I even bother...)
Wite some poems.
Go on outings. (Hint. Hint. I'm not going to go out alone.)
Complete all assignments.
Try and blog regularly.
Learn some new songs.
Read.
Organise my notes. For all subjects....
Class outing? Dunno...maybe study together?
Oh yeah...study...riiight....
Exercise? Hmmm(Up, down, up, down....now for the other eyelid...)
Source out for relevent textbooks and papers to help with revision.
Eeeh....try not to stay away from the PS, the Gameboy and the Computer....or a least not that much anyway....teeheee....

Notice how far down the studying part comes? I hope it isn't a reflection of anything.

By the way, I've been thinking about having different perspectives on different ideas and words, like my GP lecturer Mr Paul Charles had said. According to him, I would help to impress markers. So these were what I came out with:

Hypocrisy: Don't make the mistakes I make?

Cowardice: More useful alive than dead?

Moral Values: Conforming to society's expectations?

Tradition: Narrow mindedness?

Environmental Conservation: So that we can exploit our natural resources longer?

Generousity: The selfish need to feel good?

Sportmanship: Maintaining one's dignity in the face of failure?

Working for the Future: Sacrificing the present?

hmmm.....how? Is it out-of-the-box enough? I hope they are logical, at least.

Oh well......

Btw, in case there are still those out there who are unaware, I will be going to U.K on the 31 of May and will only be back on the 10th of June so please refrain from contacting me during that period. I am not bringing my phone along with me since I don't have auto roam anyway. I am freaking excited!!!!

And I need to pack. Maybe I'll put up the inventory later after the trip. If I put it on now, there's no telling the chance that I might jinx it.

:) I think I am going to be qualified as a relatively experienced traveller after this. Now to somehow get my foot on Australian Soil sometime later in my life....and maybe France and Italy.... now....which bank to rob......

Oh, I did my research on Islamic Influences on the world for my religious class.... did you know that it was Islamic art and culture that gave birth to the European Renaissance era? Interesting...hard to believe considering the state the Middle East and the Persian Gulf right now. And it was the Turks that first came up with the first vaccinations in the world and it was an English woman who relayed back the method to Europe. Ironic considering how women were seen as 'unworthy' of formal education back then.

Oh, and did you know that every English queen named Jane has been beheaded, killed, sent into exile, kidnapped or stripped of her position? One of them was only fifteen years old when she was beheaded, after being on the throne for only a few days. Holds the record for the shortest reign ever by a queen. For a king, the shortest was only a few hours i think...poor guy. He didn't even get to wear a crown or even seat on a throne.

Incidentally, did you know that it was the Chinese that invented gunpowder which later gave birth to bombs and grenades. Said to have been concocted by accident in a kitchen after a mixture of spices came inot contact with fire...I never knew history is so damn fascinating. And did you know that new findings are poiting towards the possibility that it was the Chinese and not Colombus that first discovered the Americas?

Other intersting facts, not sure if they are really true or not but still.... did you know that some scientists speculate that Malays were descended from the people of the ancient Chinese kingdom of Yue-nan? or is it Funan? Not sure...but they were said to be located somewhere in present day Myanmar. But did you know that in terms of genetics, Malays are most related to Native American Indians?

AND, when Christopher Colombus sailed past the Straight of Malacca, he referred to the Malays and "friendly Indians-unlike the savages found in other areas". And that was because these "indians" gave him food supplies.

DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way, proclaim that the presented data is all true. I am merely relating what I have read from various sources, some of which are rather dubious.

I am bored. But i am still happy i guess. Who would have thought...my 100th post..........

Of course, considering that this blog has been active for around three years and that there are 365 days a year........my 100th post? How......pathetic.......

2007-05-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

Went out with Stanley, Joanne, Zhen Hong and Arif today. went for lunch before walking around IMM all afternoon. Guess where we went? Daiso of course. it seems like any trip to IMM is incomplete without looking at the $2 products being sold there. Oh, and hey have a newly stocked gardening section. Must let my mother know.

Saw Jolyon at the Woodlands MRT station while waiting for Zhen Hong. I think he was going to Yishun to play badminton. And thank goodness he reminded me about homework or else I would have happily stayed out all day, come back at an unearthly hour and probably just collapse into bed. Of course, me coming back earlier today just meant that i collapse inot bed earlier. I didn't mean to, actually. I just charged my phone, plonked onto my parents' bed after switvhing on the fan, took a deep breath and then, BOOM!, I woke up to the sound of DR. Octavius laughing as he...erm...blew up something.

All in all, I think thins was one of the better days I've had this week. A great ending. I went out with friends, spent only a moderately short time on the com, did a bit of work and some catching up of subjects...sigh. My A's are doomed.

REALLY looking forward to U.K!!! I love travelling. My Dad told me that after this trip, I'll be the only person in the family to have been to BOTH the U.S and the U.K. Hmmmm...I can't help but feel a sense of achievement. Lol.

Wonder what next week will bring. I think GP might be a little less tense after the Prelims last Friday but there's still the A levels so Ms Lin might not become TOO relaxed. As for the other subjects....ah well. Life goes on i guess *shrugs*

Random Ramble:

I love train rides. I don't know why. Especially if I get a seat, a corner seat. The scenery is often nice and calming, not to mention repetitive which makes it all feel like I belong here, you know?

Even in the tunnels, you will get to see your reflection and you get time to think. Think about life, about school, about friends, about what your hair is doing at that particular angle, about the strand of saliva hanging down from the mouth of the sleeping woman next to you...

And if you are with friends, you get to talk. Sure, it might not be the most private place on earth but it's fun to laugh and joke and know people are staring but we laugh anyway. Sometimes you even get to see a smile or two unexpectedly breaking out of some person's mouth who overheard your teasing or jokes and they try to look away to pretend they were not at all listening.

It' nice, really.

2007-05-17T23:24:00.000+08:00

I've been feeling under the weather lately, in more ways than one. Headaches won't go away and I think I'm virtually immune to Panadol already. I can't sleep well at night because I worry too much. I don't feel like smiling at all most of the time at home(which is kinda weird for a guy who is known for smiling to himself-the only one in the family who does that).

And I don't know why. I don't feel motivated, even when i'm motivating others. Does that make me a hypocrite? Ah well. I know I'm a hypocrite anyways. My excuse: don't make mistakes I make.

I'm not stressed as much as last year, I think. This year is much more relaxed for me, what with lasser subjects to handle and lesser commitments outside of school. On that topic, I miss singing acappella terribly. I think it kept me sane last year. Wonder how they're all doing without me. I doubt the newer members now I exist, hahaha.

I want to complain about school but I still wanna go for the U.K trip. =)
Oklah, its not so bad. I look at my classmates And i think to myself, "I'm not going through this alone." Must buy them something from U.K, even if its a little something.

And of course, upon hearing that I'm going overseas, a certain GIRL felt compelled to go shoping for her again... I don't mind that actually. But please. I draw the line at kidnapping Daniel Radcliffe.

Feel kinda guilty for my father paying for me for the U.K trip. Contrary to popular belief, my family is NOT well off(not yet anyway, according to my mum; she's always been the optimist).

But still believe life is great. I dunno why. Everytime i think abuot my life, there are a lot of things I wished I had done different but at the same time, I am kinda glad i did all those things. Like going to Innova. I knew I could have gone to PJ, CJ, even AJ if i were to appeal with my big, fat choral background. But I'm still glad i went there.

Den Muhaamda Farhan hates the computer and the internet. Said bloggers are just paces for people to vent out their grieviences and that other people don't really care. I think that venting out is exactly the point of blogging, don't you. he got third prize for IJ Speakers award anyway. Fafimah was waaay better. COngrats FAHIMAH!!!

And now I'm tired bu I have work to do but at the same time I know i'll probably waste time doing useless stuff before i get to work at two o'clock in the morning.

2007-04-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

Sonnet To The Soul by Muhammad Hidhir Bin Md Razak

I have seen tears of laughter
Of sadness and despair
Seen them wept like bright colours
or masked, an empty stare
Saw soul's blood, silver wetness
Glimmering resplendence
Witnessed tears of hopelessness
And fiery defiance
Those of remorse, so forlorn
No I shall not forget
Souls a'bleeding fresh, so torn
Tears salty from regret
I have seen all, and more I'll see
Until my own torn soul flies free.

But let rivers run their course
They carve on which they flow
Tears of joy, those of remorse
All dry as cool winds blow
See it now, your miracle
The salve, the wounds it healed
See it now, the spectacle
The smile, lips cracked and peeled
No matter,it hurts I know
But please, take heed my friend
Skin is only skin, it grows
But hearts, need more to mend.
To have seen all, still more to see
I know, as now my soul flies free.

2007-04-27T19:22:00.000+08:00

It was a sad sad day today. We finally had our goodbyes said to Liu Jien Le, gone forever from among the psychos of class 0641B of I****A J****r College. If i am the mother of the class (come from me nagging at them a lot I think), then he has to be the middle brother, the ultimate joker. Everyday, he would say something that made us all laugh, made us huff in annoyance or made us nod in agreement.

"Hey, Ass," was his usual form of greeting, whether it be morning, noon or evening. Even though we always respond back appropriately ("Youlah, ass,"), we know he has never meant them to be hurtful. Thinking back, i think he was one of the most distinct personalities in the class, sharp and witty, never at a loss of words(his vocabulary of vulgarities is most impressive, not to mention multi-lingual) and always outspoken.

Yes, I teared up in the morning when we were saying goodbye to him. Some of the other girls were crying. It was a spirit crusher, him leaving. I don't think our class will ever be the same again. His kiasuness will always be remembered fondly. I think it was because of this our class got table to sit on duirng lunch half the time(his bag will be on the table, his self will be running to join the queue) nad his conversations were always....interesting.

Hmmm...my only wish for him right now is..... he be successful in life. He can make it far(he's the only one in our class with 2 distinctions to his name already: Chinese and Project Work). I wish him all the best....even if he decides to follow his dream of opening a farm in Singapore.

And lastly, if you are reading this, ass, please know that you didn't shame us in any way. We were proud of you when you stood up there in front of the whole school. We supported you, through and through. We were proud of you, being able to face the whole crowd and tell it like it is. We really didn't care about you having supposedly 'shamed' us(once again, you didn't), but we really were sad to see you go.

Original number of 0641B class members: 22
Now: 18 (including Abby, she's one of us now)

I hope the number still remains as it is by the end of this year.....

2007-04-19T19:29:00.000+08:00

SIGH...here we go again....

We all know those times when we were given warnings as to what we blog about. No going against authority figures, no racial or religiously insensitive remarks, no critisizing the government......whatever. I've heard it all. We are warned that whatever we blog about, prepare to bear the consequences. But just to be fair, shouldn't those who read blogs prepare themselves as to what they might be reading after clicking he link to our blogs?

I hardly write about my daily activities in my blog(in case you haven't noticed). They are bad enough for me to through them once. Twice doesn't make it any less boring. No. I blog about what I feel about certain issues, certain people, certain....things. It is a way of letting out what I think needs to be said, regardless of anyone reading it thinks. And I feel that it is sad that we, as a democracy, are being told to be careful of what we write, what we say, what we tell other people. They say we, as bloggers, should understand what their position is, why they can; allow certain things to be said. I say they should understand why we are saying the things we say.

If they say we are not informed enough to critic, unable to open our minds as to understand certain sensitivities, I say then that they have failed to keep us informed and they have failed to open their minds to what we are saying.

I understand that people get very upset, even disappointed when they find themselves the subject, the recieving end of harsh words and sometimes nefarious verbal abuse. Chances are, these people who write or blog about these things were themselves upset, were themselves disappointed as to how they themselves were treated.

I just think it's...sad that this topic is rising up again. They admit that we, young adults and students, are the future of this country and this generation is being silenced on topics that affect them the most. Of course we criticise our schools. We go there almost everyday, we spend half of our daily share of hours just sloughing away there, all for the sake of our future. We don't totally hate it bu we can't say we thoroughly enjoy it either. And of course, as those who are being managed by a sytem, we are the ones who would be the first to see its flaws anbd comment on it.

"I think. Therefore, I am."

If we do not express what we think, in one way or another, bluntly, frankly, in all its painful glory. What will become of us? They call us the strawberry generation, pampered and sheltered. I think it is obvious why. The moment we show a bit of spunk, a little streak of independence, a measure of outspoken(ness), we are warned/threatened of/with punishment and consequences.

It may sadden some people to read this. But know that I myself am saddened in writing this.

Oh, and by the way....

2007-04-05T00:03:00.000+08:00

Gah!!!!

It's just a crush, really.

But it's like, everytime I see her in the canteen or somewhere in school I'm half tempted to go up to her, give her a big wide smile and say "Hi!".

But the other half keeps pulling back saying "Run before she sees you!".

Me, being me, always decide to compromise and walk past her, saying "Hi!" only when she looks up and says "Hi" first.

Bleahg....bleagh...bleagh...

Our longest conversation was about the weather of all things...

It went something like this:

Her: "Hey Hidhir, have you seen ******?"

Me" "Not really. Why?"

"No, it's just that she has my umbrella and I need it back..."

"Yeah, the weather has been kinda bad hasn't it?"

"Yes, it keeps raining in the afternoon..."]

"At least it's not hot"

"...interferes with training."

"But it's been getting warmer lately."

"Yeah...... K, see you later"

It astounds me, the depth and passion of our conversation. Did you notice how witty I sounded in my wooing her? No? Exactly the problem.

Don't bother asking me who she is. Either you won't know her or, in the off chance that you do, I might be lying anyway.

But i really should be worrying more about my results. Currently they are as follows:

General Paper: D

Eng. Literature: E

Geography: E

Economics: U

Mathematics: U

Yes, please gasp is awe at the horror that is my results.

But the thing I'm most concerned about is the chance for me to go to UK, which requires me to pass at least one H1 subject and two H2 subjects, which i actually did (General Paper, Eng. Literature and Geography).

I'm just hoping and praying that all the others who have submitted their names did horribly (yes, I'm terrible I know). Or at least those fom the other classes. Going with my classmates should be very fun.

2007-03-31T20:35:00.000+08:00

I think people have absolutely nothing left to talk about in this world. It is always about someone else(gossip), BGR(with gossipy examples), food and weather.

Urm.....that being said.....not much to say afterall.......

Have gotten back two of my results(and hints of how we did for the others). Things do not bode well for me right now.......shit...... I was really looking forward to the UK trip.......

Have got to start revising all of last years topics starting from next week....thus, I'll be giving myself this weekend to rest and play.....

There....an update....

2007-03-22T02:53:00.000+08:00

Anyone here remember a movie entitled Pass It On? Starring Haley Joel Osmond and Helen Hunt? That movie had a very important message and I have just kicked myself for not heeding it. Our world is in lots of trouble. We all know it. The environment, wars and conflicts, materialism, little green men with lazer guns..... we all know it. But what are we doing about it? Chances are, not much. We go to school, we go out, we study.

But we can do something and here it is. You may have heard of it, read of it, watched a movie based on it. Now, be a PART of it.

CHALLENGE: MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

I issue a personal challenge to all here to pass on an act of kindness. It can be for a friend, a family member, a pet, a neighbour or even a complete stranger you've just met. The act need not be an overly generous act. It can be as simple as smiling at a complete stranger just passing by, it can be buying a treat for your little sister, it can be leaving a ten cent coin in a public phone so that the next person can use it for free, leaving a post-it note with a nice comment inside a library book or even just donating loose change to a student doing his CIP hours(and being glad to do so, and offer some encouragement or two).

I challenge you to do it within one week of reading this message and to continue doing it after that any time you feel like it or whenever you get the chance. Compliment your mother's clothes(of course, do it when she does look nice), switch places with a person at the back of a queue, drop loose change at a playground where children can find it. These are the small things that can brighten up someone's day.

And lastly, I ask all of you to pass on this message. You can choose to do it verbally, you can choose to email all on your contact list this message, you can paste a notice on a notice board, an internet forum, or even just cut and paste this into your blog. I hope that together, we can really make a difference in this world. It might not be a big one. But remember that for someone out there, someone sad or tired or lonely, it may just be enough.

I'll admit right now, I'm only doing this after watching this video on Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVY5IpSDUYE

Yes, I am still clueless as to how to put the actual video in my blog.

Oh, and do tag me to respond, tell me if you are planning to spread the message or do an act of kindness or even tell me a kind act you did after reading the post. I'll be very happy. Just tell me anything, really.

2007-03-18T22:09:00.000+08:00

Just watched Phantom Of the Opera just now. It was ok, i guess. It's the second time i've watched it and i still find myself humming to the tune of All I Ask Of You.

By using up those 3 hours, I've sacrificed studying for Econs and Math tomorrow, which probably means I'll do horribly for Maths. Econs I still have hope for. I didn't study for the previous two tests and still did better than expcted. Yes, I'm very mature, I know.

As for Maths.... I'll get a U as usual. My math teacher has kindly told the class that they are not testing us on Differentiation and Integration. The two topics I worked my ass off for last year an have any hope of scoring for is no being tested for. And thus the U (mind you, even with those two topics tested, i still go a U for my Mid-Course).

Literature is not a big worry. I only need to master the art of writing three four-page essays within three hours.

Geography, I'm relying on the logic that i have grasped that flows through Human Geography. Urbanization, Globalisation and Population I can handle. Its the Physical component I'm not so sure off. What with Lithospheric Processes, Hydrological Processes and now Atmospherical Processes.... it takes too much memory work, I think.

General Paper: over and done with. What a fiasco that was. I don't think i failed it though.

Hmmm.....I've spent most of my holidays slacking......... diediediediediediediediediediedie...........

Saw True Files regarding the maid who killed the woman. Saw the way the maid had to serve life imprisonment just besause she killed some abusive bitch who didn't know the worh of another human being. Life imprisonment. Hello? Is it just me or is something wrong with the picture here?

Sure, she killed. She distinguished a life, a life that was no doubt precious(to some anyway) and i guess she should be punished. But social justice should only affect the punishment so far.

Furthermore, the judgement should be passed with as little bias as possible. The maid was Indonesian. The so called victim was a Singaporean. Am i assuming too much if i say the judge may have been a little prejudiced? Hmm... anyway....gah...I'm going to sleep. Justice in Singapore still has a long way to go, I think.

2007-03-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

Not a cheerful entry. You have been warned.

Have you ever had that feeling where everything is just not worth it? I mean, you get great results, you work hard, you get great results again(not saying i will), you go into university(not saying i will), you get a great job(whatever), get that perfect wife, get that perfect family, get that terminable disease and then you get your face printed in the Orbituary Section(if your children happen to be rich). And some people don't even get to go the full cycle.

Some of you may have heard about the 20++ year old man who died suddenly a few weeks ago(it was one the news), with speculations of him having the Sudden Death Syndrome. That man was my sister-in-law's younger brother(rest his soul). I attended the funeral. Saw the shell-shocked face of his parents. Saw the confused face of my sister-in-law. Saw the weeping aunts and sombre uncles. Saw the deceased bride-to-be crying her intestines out, heart wrenching sobs, not even able to eat. Now i still visit them( the parents, we're quite close). They smile less, though they're still very nice. They keep his room closed though once in a while they bring the mattress out for my nephews, their grandchildren. And i couldn't help but think that it isn't fair. It isn't fair at all. He had a whole life planned out, getting married in September, going for a business trip to Germany in June( he just got promoted), maybe buying a new flat next year. Then he's dead. Just like that.

It got me thinking. Is it all worth it? All this 'do things now for your future' thing, when your life can go in a few years, a few months, tomorrow? "You all must think about what you all want to do in the future, now" Mrs Siva said to us the last Civics period. What if 'now' is all we have left and we don't even know it? What if the next time you drink, water accidentally go into your wind pipe instead of your oesophagus and you die because air can't get into your lungs? What if the next Sumatran Earthquake is the prognosticated 'big one' seismolgist have been warning us of for years(which will make the 2004 Tsunami Quake seem like a shiver) and the quake reaches Singapore? To the best of my knowledge, many if not most Singapore buildings were not built to withsatnd earthquakes. How many Jc/Poly/Uni students, sloughing away for their future, die then?

But then again, what's there to say we won't die and live until the age of 110 with our sole income the remnants of our CPF and the occasional 'hong bao'? Life is just too uncertain. I'm not saying we all just take off our clothes and run around butt naked just to live for the moment. I guess, we just need to enjoy the things we can do now, do them, balancing work and play, for both scenarios. But I'm still unsure. Really. I don't know anymore.

But life goes on i guess. My nephews will grow up never knowing they had another uncle. But that won't stop them from running in the sun, playing with sand on the beach. They will still get to watch Ugly Betty ( the show is not bad btw, i kinda like it). They'll go to school, preparing themselves for the all imporatnt future. I still get to blog, catch up with friends, read and write and fret over poems.

They say it's the little thing that matters. Those who believes this are the ones who are looking at the bigger picture. The other one looks at the big picture. But they afraid of the furture and by eing so they forgo their present.

Which one are you?

2007-03-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

Spent a fruitful day wondering if i should start revising for the damn block test. Still haven't come to a decision yet. In the meantime I helped around with chores, read fanfiction, played cards, listened to the radio, played FinalFantasy on PS 2, helped to cook beef soup, watched Scooby Doo and....yeah, thats it. Stressful, i know. What did you expect? I'm in JC.

I miss you guys!!!! (yeah, you who still visit this blog)

2007-03-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

Had my GP(General Paper) Block Test just now. One word. SHIT. The topic was absolutely predictable yet i continued to speculate instead of preparing myself for it. Ms Lin just HAD to give us that extra article, didn't she? Well, its my fault I ignored her comment regarding the OTHER article begining with "This is VERY important..."

So my analytical question lacked a complete, solid example (other than about some polar bears), EVALUATION (I should just....do something horrible to myself) and a PART of the requirements. If i'm lucky, i'll get my usual 3/8.

And my vocabulary has gone to the dogs. I KNEW the meaning of inexorable. I just happen to forgot. That's one less mark away from the B i'm hoping for from GP. I might even fail. Oh no, then i won't be able to go to UK.....

What's this about going to UK, someone asked?

Here's the deal. The Humanities Department of IJC has been holding overseas trips since it was opened two years ago. One of the trips is to Pulau Tioman in Malaysia, the other is to the U.K. Over there, students will be exposed to the things we learn about in Geography, Economics and, to some extent, Literature. we will get to travel to the Lake District to learn about rivers, not to mention witness one of the most panaromic view the U.K can boast. We get to travel to Stratford-Upon-Avon, birthplace of THE William Shakepeare, where we get to visit his childhood home as well as the legendary Globe Theatre. Then we go to London where we get to attend a lecture(hah! and i'm actually looking forward to it) at the London School of Economics.

This is, of course, besides the fact that we get to experience first hand European food and culture, go crazy at the shops( and locals), as well as explore the British Museum (which houses some of the world's largest amount of booty and stolen artifacts from around the world).

But, to qualify for the trip, one must be able to 1) Pay- my mother said "We'll see" which is usually a good sign- and 2) achieve at least a pass for H2 Economics, Geography and one other H1 subject. The only H1 subject i can currently pass is GP. If i fail GP, i might have to rely on Maths (which would be an extremely laughable situation to find myself in) because Malay is no longer an option ( I got a B for my H1 Malay and I'm no longer taking it). And there is that added little detail where the teachers will only be able to take 40 students with them. If more than 40 people meets the criteria, the decision will all be made based on merit.

Meaning that if i don't do well for this block test, i can kiss U.K's ass goodbye.

On a lighter note, Yu'an and Elizabeth has labelled me as The-Guy-Who-Is-Going-To-Ruin-Their-Lives. I've not a single idea why. I was just being my usual, witty, lovable self.

I hate harping about problems.

Random thought of the day:

CONDENSATION

errr..... i don't know either.

2007-03-08T00:16:00.000+08:00

I am suddenly highly motivated. If Mr Chu (Choo?) is here right now I'd really like to thank him. And Raphael(sp?) too. I thought the motivational talk at the begining of Econs lecture today really helped. I can now see it. My goal: 4 As at A-levels.

Maybe 3 As?

hmm..........

Anyway, i've been doing a lot of thinking lately (yes yes yes, even I'm shocked) and I've really drawn some conclusions with regards to several things in my life. This includes:

Life goals
My bad habits
My capabilities
My abilities
Career options(still not decided yet though general direction is there)
BGR(thrsagirlbutivenoguts)
Responsibilities

Thats a lot of thinking if you ask me.

Anyway, now for a random topic moment: Insensitivity.

On our journey through life, we will encounter numerous situations in which we find that it would be highly beneficial for us as well as other people to approach a certain matter with tact and consideration for others. Certain issues, such as race and religion in Singapore, are highly susceptible to unwarranted and enormous attention, partly because we feel involved in such matters as well as the need to get involved.

Matters such as the one mentioned, have been known to be dicussed publicly but let us be honest, public opinion is often well received because they are the 'right' opinions one should have and not necessarily a honest one. There are many advantages to this, one of which is that we will begin to feel a certain sense of wrongness in discriminating others for one's race. After all, whatever society accepts as correct will naturally feel right to the typical teenager or youth.

However, it sparks of an increasingly irritating habit of mincing one's words when addressing such issues. As Asians, we have always been known for our subtlety and conservative attitudes, always trying to avoid trouble whenever possible. But I fear that there will come a time when these values will be put o the test, especially since Singapore is becoming an increasingly globalised city. This problem not only limits itself to the topic of racial discrimination but also to other sensitive issues such as euthanasia, homosexuality and even abortion.

urm..... i'm not really sure where i'm going with this train of thought....maybe Yew Tee MRT station...oh wait, isn't that the station where YET ANOTHER GUY fell/jumped/whatever onto the tracks? Really, just because your life sucks/you are clumsy/whatever doesn't mean you have the right to disrupt public transport.Get a shrink or, like everybody else, endure. Life sucks, it isn't fair, it causes more grief than euphoria AND its bloody expensive so just GET OVER IT!

The government should just fine these people who are treating the MRT tracks like a portal to the next world or life or whatever. Very heavily. Don't get me started on the detrimental effects of public transport disruption on the economy.

Shakespeare is quickly making his way out of my list of favourite peolpe right now. He's dead and he still creates problems for me.

Same goes to Hadley and Ferrell for discovering the Cells (a vertical transfer of wind). On a brighter note, they weren't on any of my list in the first place.

The males in American Idol is really sucky this year. Most of them anyway. Go the-one-with-that-curly-hair-and-who-needs-to-lose-weight!! And that botak guy. I'm rooting for them....

2007-02-19T17:47:00.000+08:00

Behind every master, every hero and every great thinker is a teacher. Maybe I should become one. The I'll rule the world with my army of heroes, masters and great thinkers!!!!!! MuAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, maybe not.

So much has happened. There are plenty of things i want to rant and rave about but i couldn't remember what at the moment. So i'll just rant and raves about topics i generally rant and rave about.

*Rant and raves about IJC, its curricullum, its teachers, the activities carried as well as amount of homework given out there.*

There. I must say this has been a very productive update. Don't you think?

2007-01-30T22:57:00.000+08:00

Dear Readers,

The author/writer/owner/guy-who-updates this blog is currently involved in IJ's official opening ceremony taking place this Friday. He would have loved to divulge further details but is currently too tired to do so.

He also has monumental amounts of homework piling up, tests to study for(three of them this week alone, after one was postponed to next week from this date), as well as notes to study. His files were supposed to be organised eons ago but lack of motivation and procrastination(in that order) has caused his bag to act as one(file).

He is also broke but is expecting a sum of money to be given to him, complements of TAS Youth Voices (I heard that it was quite a large sum but considering previous amounts I think it is just slightly more than expected).

He misses his friends terribly and is still trying to find time(somewhere) to meet up wth them.

He has a funfair to organise with his class. He has one company to chase after, one teacher chasing after him and an entire economic topic to catch up on.

He is tired and thus will go to sleep right now after attempting to entice himself with Geography essays. Whether he is successful or not would be made known to readers if he bother to update on the morrow.

He wishes all readers good night and is thus satisfied at being able to update, on a whim, so as to have something to distract himself from his bag of homework.........

2007-01-14T17:54:00.000+08:00

Remember that time when i said i would try to update regularly? Well....i lied.

Right now though, i can't help but want to vent my frustrations somewhere. Here's the thing, IJC would be having its first fun fair in around less than one month's time and the class right now is not at all enthusiastic about it, except for a few of them. I don't know why but the clas spirit we had last year has sort of faded. Maybe its because of the fact that some were either retained or dropped out. And there is even this new girl that doesn't seem to mix with anyone other than Fiona, Jean and Cheryl.

I guess that they just couldn't be bothered. Or maybe they just want to focus more their studies. Maybe. Anyway, the general feeling i am currently getting is that i would have to organise that damn shop myself..... and they haven't even paid me for the class bbq yet...

About the A-levels, i am currently in a state of passivity(is there even such a word?). I can't seem to get myself to study at home. Which is problematic. Its no problem when i'm in school but the school library is only opened until 5. Meaning i either study in a deserted corner where there are study tables, the noisy canteen or home.

I wished i had not decided to resume the post of CG chairperson this year. What use is it to have it grace your resume when it's going to drive me to inevitable insanity and failure?

On a brighter note, the Opening Ceremony performance seem to be getting along nicely though we still need a lot of pratice....... and practices are fun too (not to mention that we get catered food for saturady rehearsals). Plus, my character(the bad guy) has a dance sequence where girls(the dancers) literally have to jump on him(me!). So i guess its not too bad....my shoulders ache though.

And i have decided that i am in deep shit because i can't seem to find(or bother to look for that matter) all of my last year's notes. I still have those that were filed up but i think there is little hope for those that were not.

Oh, and please contact me if you wanna buy tickets for IJC funfair!!!! It's ten dollars each and you get a free calander ;P The stupid school is not giving us any capital to begin with so i doubt that we can pull this off(unless, dear reader, you are able to supply me with a sponsor or be one yourself).

Now, to go have a nap while trying not to think about the homework i'm supposed to be doing. I'll regret this later but the weather right now is too valuable not to be taken advantaged of. Come on, wind howling gently against your window, the pitter-patter of raindrops falling, snuggling up in your bed with a oh-so-soft pillow and bolster under the warmth of a thick blanket..........

By the way, I am aiming for at least two As in my A-levels.

Dec Update

2006-12-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

Yes...I...know...whatever did happen to the 'regular updates' that is listed under things to do in the hols...ah well....the list has gone to hell anyway.....If you want to read something that will cheer you up, pls leave right now, unless you find unbelievable, unmatched ecstacy in knowing my life isn't so bright and cheery afterall.

Was so bloody pissed off yesterday......contacted me in an afternoon on the day where i'm SUPPOSED to be free from shows....for a gig at Mercedes Benz Centre.....i had to cancel meeting with Firdaus to help buy the BBQ stuff.....then the stupid show started and ended so late that by the time i was on my way to east coast, my Mum called and asked me to hurry home cos she and my dad need to go Johor with my bros and I need to wait at home for a really IMPORTANT call.....guess what? no call!!! And i'm not blaming anyone but i really am getting tired of receiving last minute performance schedules....NO ONE WAS EVEN LISTENING TO US!!! sure they looked at us like one would look at an interesting object giving out strange sounds but really.... I think they wasted their money and our time!!!

And for some strange inexplicable reason, people are expecting me to take it all with a pinch of salt, a smile on my face and a positive attitude... Which i can actually do and have done so for soooo many times in the past. So i guess its my fault that thr are people today who treat me like crap, take me for granted and be utterly disrespectful. certain people should KNOW i'm OLDER than them by a good, few YEARS so pls watch your MOUTHS and HANDS!! And of course for people who are older than me, I do believe that I hardly give you any problems, ostentatious as it might sound. Of course, me and my CLOSE friends do call each other names (for eg: Dumb Dumb, don't ask) which are acceptable. But Just because you've known me for like three years doesn't necessarily make you my close friend. If your reason for acting up to me or for your total disrespect is "I don't care you're older" pls kindly stay away from me in the future. I prefer mixing with those of a civillized nature.

Oh, and it might be very difficult for some of you to fathom or believe but i DO in fact have a BRAIN (did i hear a gasp thr?) and am perfectly capable of using it. I have ears and thus can hear things. Got it?? Don't speak to me like I am some lost little boy who needs to be told where the toilet is and how to flush.

Sure, i joke, i laugh at myself, i tease but i do believe in giving and receiving respect in the end, for different reasons ranging frm seniority to age gap to ability. If you're one of those modernist who believes respect should be earned regardless of age and seniority, what are you doing in Asia? sometimes i think its the only thing keeping us from behaving like monkeys waving about a detonator. I'm not telling which monkey. This is not a political blog.

if you are instructed to ask me to do something, be civillized enough to be POLITE and CONSIDERATE, don't sms me at random times of the day DEMANDING i do this i do that then and thr. And this is not going out to just one group of people, I am addressing to everyone who reads this and thus would know me personally.

Just so its clear, i shall state this

I hate:

people who brag incessently(sp?)
people who ACT like they are cleverer or better than you when they are NOT.
people who boss you around because they can
people who question my every move just because they think they need to(actually i don't mind if you offer alternative suggestions instead of just giving me problems, in fact i prefer it to you just keeping quiet)
people who dismiss whatever i say as irrelevant only to ask me again for hwtaever it was i said.
posers
people who act like THEY are the ONLY people SUFFERING in life. If you think things can't get any worse than your life, go plant yourself in the Sahara. I'm sure you will find the end you deserve.
AND, I REALLY REALLY HATE SMUG, EGOTISTICAL BASTARDS/BITCHES WHO WILL NOT ADMIT THAT THEY WERE SIMPLY WRONG IN A MATTER!!!

Please keep all of this in mind the next time you interact with me. For those who have been asking for an update, this is it. Sorry if it was not cheery enough for your expectations and again, sorry if i happen to have offended any of you reading this.

I will continue to approach life in a positive attitude in a relatively mellow style that may leave some of you doubting that i have ever had negative thoughts in the first place. I love being cheerful and happy. I like joking with people, friends new and old alike. I don't mind being teased as long as its in proportion. I love talking my head off. i enjoy being lame, no matter how irritating some people claims it to be, it always lightens the mood considerably. of course i laugh at other people being lame. They're funny people.

Oh, and for the last, freaking time, my height is caused by GENETICS. geddit?! Is it soo DIFFICULT to understand?? My father is a tall man. thus, me being my father's son, is ALSO tall. The next person to ask me the question "Why are you so tall?" is going to be met with silence. You don't see me going around asking "Why are you so fat?" "Why are you so dark?" "Why are your eyes small?" because most often than not, these are all genetical factors which we cannot control. For those of you who are still eating long beans to be as 'long' as me so to speak, why don't you eat toothpicks to be thin? really, i've had enough of it. REALLY.

2006-11-12T11:27:00.000+08:00

AMUSING QUOTES

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"

Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass"

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"

I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

"Where there's a will, there's a way. And where there's a way, then there's usually a stop sign somewhere along the road."

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.

GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A BLONDE.

those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do

This delinquent is having sex with your honor student.

Save the environment...plant a Bush back in Texas.

None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all

"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."

"You will be aroused by a shampoo comercial."--Homer J. Simpson

There are some days when I just don't feel like talking.. Today is that day.

The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Trust your instincts and listen to your friends, because they may be right when you don't want them to be

"Inside this body lies that of a skinny man. But I can usually shut him up with chocolate.".

You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try. - Homer J. Simpson.

"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down." –Anonymous

"Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! Your not alive anymore!'"

"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown

"I'll kill you until you die!"

LOL...had a great time reading these quotes from Morvana Du'Miruvor's ff.net biography page.

Anyway, i know i have not been updating much. I only have laziness to blame, nothing else. hahar..you know me. Loads of stuff happened, the most prominent one being the oral presentation part of PW. I think we did quite well....or at least i don't think we failed....anyway, the end of the OP and the submission of the group project file heralds one thing that i have been waiting for since...well...since it all started actually.

THE END!!!! HAHAHAH!!! FINALLY!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!! SEEYA SEEYA WOULDN"T WANNA BE YA!!!! TOOOODLES!!!! GOOD BYE!!!! TATA!!! GOOD RIDDANCE!!!! ZAI JIAN!!! BON VOYAGE (to hell)!!! VIVA PW!!! GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! I CAN HAVE MY LIFE BACK!!!!!! HELLO LIFE!!!!

sorry for that outburst...in case you haven't realised, i don't really like PW all that much.....

anyway, now that the hols are finally starting...and i don't really plan on going for most of the remedials (i'll go for maths and geog since they're compusory).... and as TAS practice is only on mondays and saturdays.....i will have lots of free time....SO LETS PARTAY!!!!! askmeoutaskmeoutaskmeoutaskmeoutaskmeout

Things to do during the hols( in no particular order):

attend 4/10 class reunion bbq
sing at shows in town
(ref. to NO. 2) not embarrass myself on stage
do SOME studying (at least maths)
chalet
bowling
go to beach
go on holiday (not likely though)
practice ice skating
clean room
get notes organized
have a class outing...several if possible
a cappella camp
update blog as regularly as possible
go cycling
play badminton (its been far too long my old raquette...my old friend)
write and post stories at ff.net

hahahahahahaha...two months to achieve all these. Just a note: No. 10 Clean room has been on all the lists of things to do since...well...since i got my own room and began writing such lists.

Oh, and i got back my results, for the whole year....here it is...hold your breath

General Paper (H1): B

Malay Language (H1): B

Mathematics (H1): U

Eng. Literature (H2) : C

Geography (H2): D

Economics (H2): C

Conduct Grade: EXCELLENT

...yes...i honestly don't know how i got the EXCELLENT.....must be because of all the math assignments i didn't hand in...hahahahaha

hmm..am quite disappointed at my maths, malay...practically everything....my targets were....hmmm.....can't remember..oh well...

anyway, judging from my results, i am promoted to J2....yes, congrats to myself.......lets hope next year i'll be more motivated....

would you look at that...a nice, lengthly update...

PS: i still don't know what happened to my tag board....honestly couldn't be bothered with it....

2006-11-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

My right hand holds matches

My left holds my past.

I hope the wind catches

And burns it down fast.

I’m going to step into the fire

With my failures and my shame

And wave goodbye to yesterday

As I dance among the flames.

So don’t try to save me now

Let the walls of my world all burn down.

Just stand back and wait till the smoke finally passes

And I will rise from the ashes.

For all that I’m losing

Much more will I gain

The hard part is choosing

To change what needs change.

My step will be much lighter

With these demons off my chest

I’m born a better spirit

And lay the old to rest.

So don’t try to save me now

Let the walls of my world all burn down.

Just stand back and wait till the smoke finally passes

And I will rise from the ashes.

And I’ll walk away stronger

I will be flying

Higher and truer than I’ve flown before.

My right hand holds matches

My left holds my past

I hope the wind catches

And burns it down fast.

--Martina McBride, “From the Ashes”

2006-10-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

10 Random thoughts:

i love using chopsticks
fried chicken is nice
jessica simpson is not as pretty as previously thought
this hari raya is one of the dullest as i am mostly stuck at home with PW
clams are nice
maids are underrated
PW suck..A LOT
i love the rain
i miss the old gang
people change because they are growing

random thought are fun to write because they are blunt, unpretentious, representative and honest.

try it some time.

2006-10-15T20:18:00.000+08:00

Have been bored to death the past few days. Going to school, doing PW, coming back home, staring at the computer screen, all while fasting, should be enough to drive anybody up the wall. At least the exams are over. The mid course exams anyway. Am dead tired(mentally) but still have got to hang on for the sake of PW and the MT A's.....sigh.....

Maybe I should go get myself a girlfriend or something.......

Nah...too expensive. Cats are nicer......

2006-10-07T23:33:00.000+08:00

Weeeheee

Went ice skating just now with joanne, zhen hong, sze qian(spelling?) and these two girls yuan yuan(spelling?) and Constance and this guy who is supposedly Singapore's representative for figure skating whose name i couldn't remember. They were quite nice i think, though i didn't talk to the guy much. Were all from AJC. Hahaha, am finally getting the hang of ice skating, only fell once and it was all jo's fault. Hahar... Really beginning to like ice skating but its too expensive lar....$11 for two hours. Huuu.......

Then later on, my mum took the whole family to this restaurant in Little India called Cameron's Restaurant....a fancy name for a coffee house. It was to celebrate my brother's mother-in-law's birthday. Was quite fun. The food was quite nice. The spring roll tere is the best i've tasted and it was also the first time i was eating roast duck. A bit on the salty side though. Also had shark fins soup without the sharkfin (substitute with crab meat) but not as nice like the one in Johor (again with substitutes for sharkfin).

Went to my brother's house after that, played with my nephews, and went back home and here i am. am currently being slaughtered by dan fu in reversi.........grrrrrrrr

2006-10-05T10:05:00.000+08:00

Currently slacking...one more paper to go....wahahaha....

Am dreading this saturday and next week...PW and Mother Tongue intensive..... I still have not gotten the point of doing PW other than that it is a University requirement. Sure, give us practice for the thesises we would have to do in uni but is it fair that the very first time we are doing such a thing is in the 'A' levels which would be marked and would thus determine our grade? The education system is flawed and I don't give a (insert word) that people more qualified than me devised the system. THEY didn't go through it and would never have to. They know JC is tough. Instead of understanding, they dump this load on us and shrug "JC's like that....its tough". Not helpful at the very least. They harp about "oh, PW will help you to know how to do this...help you to learn that...help you experience this..."

So far I have been taught how to sleep with my eyes half open, learnt to deal with irritating, self pitying teachers and experienced hell. Skills that were already polished since the first year of secondary school (I loved my pri school).

Anyway..trying to organize a class chalet but am not in the mood honestly. Not a really happpy period.

At least the exams are ending soon.

woohoo

2006-09-29T23:29:00.000+08:00

Have not been updating as regularly as i would have liked. No doubt the readership has fallen(again).

As I have said before, I have decided not to post anymore poems on this blog but I have been writing. I have around twelve new poems, none of which will be posted on this blog except for the following one.

I Shall Speak BY: Muhammad Hidhir Bin MD Razak

Because my mind will waste away
Because the years will never stay
I shall speak now and have my say
Before time takes me as prey

Because eternity will last forever
Because infinity, it ends never
I shall speak now, to last forever,
Words, ageless, with rhyme and power

Had a GP test this morning and Malay in the afternoon. After many thoughts and reflections done, I have decided that had not done as well as I would have liked. But I still am hoping for a pass. Please, I didn't do THAT badly(I hope).

Comment on the poem? One can only hope....

tests

2006-09-19T00:05:00.000+08:00

Am not being very productive lately.....have not been finishing tutorials, not revising enough, not paying enough attention in class....HIDHIIIIRR!!! WAAKKE UUUPPP!!!!! NEEEEED TOOO STUUUUDEEEE.......

anyway, passed my geog and econs test ^^. thats great and all but.... now people are assuming that i'm a mugger. or is just so unbelievably smartassholic that he can't possibly fail anything he touches. i'm sick of it. i dunno how to respond when people say such things to me, things like "aiyah, you smart lah" or "shuddup lar, you pass the test lor". I am NOT complaining about passing my tests. On the contrary, i am very relieved (happy is too strong a word). But still, its the stupid reactions i get from people.

For those who are wondering why i can pass when I said i never study is because i make links. not in the essays, but the way i see things. for example: poverty= no money/income, no money because no source of income, no source of income=no jobs available, no jobs available because no one wants to invest in that region, why? cos the government thr might be corrupt or climate is nasty.......see? LINK PEOPLE!!! its all helpful advice from my sister's tutor who tutors not 8 year old mathematics but jc and uni students.

According to him, every subject has different 'keys' to unlock it. For english, begin speaking and reading good english and only then can it be transfered into good writing. for maths, its about knowing HOW to use the formulas provided, not just memorising them.....and so on. humanities needs the student to build linkages between different issues, between earthquakes and plate movements, between HMT and female oppression, between cost of production and profit margin....

No, though i am keeping my options open, i am NOT putting my foot down to becoming a teacher. I may want to be a lawyer, politician or a clown for all i care so please stop predicting what i'm gonna be when i grow up. I still love singing thouh i'll be taking a break from it till december.

Then all of you can come to along orchard road to see me perfrom ^^

AARRggghhh

2006-09-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

Am so dead...AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!! lets see... 230 to 430 tmr i'll have lit lecture...i think we are doin presentations. (priority status: compulsory) but at the same time, i have TAS rehearsal from 300 to 5oo. (priority status: my neck is at stake)......thats not all

on thursday: i'll have econs remedial from 440 t o 540. (priority status: compulsory) BUT i still have an interview at Mt Elizabeth Hospital at 5oo (priority status: RED ALERT!)!!!! how!!!

Other than, of course, all the assignments, essays, pw, tests.... TESTS!!! EXAM!!!! MY MIDCOURSE IS COMING!!!!

STUUUUUDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! MMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSTTTT!!!!!!!!!! PREEEEEEEVVVAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!!!! DDDDIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE LLAAAAAAAAAaaaAAAAArrrrrrrr!!!

this week is gonna be the last week for my assignments, to complete everything that was given out...errrr....weeks ago. then its a fresh, new, rigorous mugging period up till end of exams...

am not feeling very muggish rite now. need to get ino the zone...god i'm turning into my worst nightmare!!!!

GAAH!!!

2006-09-09T21:00:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to go to the bloody Singapore/Brunei Malay debates this afternoon. After taking a bus that was SUPPOSED to go to Andrew Road, where the MBC was located, I got hopelessly lost and the only thing that saved me was that the bus passed by a familliar part of town(Bugis) and from there I made my way to the nearest MRT Station(Bugis). Only in the sardine can (a.k.a MRT train) did I realise that I had just passed up the chance to go to the Humongous(not its real name in case you didn't know) National Library that was located just around the corner. Shucks.
Heard they have a respectable amount of books on literature in the Borrowing Section. Ah well....

By the way, is anyone reading this? I need to know. If not many people are reading then I won't bother trying to change the blogskin. Not that the present one is ugly or whatever. Its just kind of....boring to have nothing much to see other than part of a key board and the rear end of someone who is supposedly a pianist.

But then comes the question of HOW to change the skin....heheh..any volunteers?? *ducks flying cannon balls*

With regards to my project, I'm trying to think positive. I have a feeling everything is gonna work out great(we won't fail) since all my previous projects, I don't remember failing one, are all results of last minute work. =)

I still have all my work to do so I'm not sure why I'm blogging right now. Hmmm...

Am gonna kill my little brother. He keeps coming into my room to fart and has already done so more than once. (its no laughing matter) ((really)) *suffocates to death*

2006-09-09T01:46:00.000+08:00

They can all go to hell. And stay there.

Not sure why I'm writing this.

Wrote a poem.

Not gonna post it.

Shortest post ever. wow.

People Are Selfish By Nature

2006-09-07T19:08:00.000+08:00

In my humble opinion, people are indeed selfish by nature. It is their basic instinct to think of any advantages or disadvantages they might set upon themselves when making a decision or when they find themselves forced into a situation they are unable to squeeze themselves out of. To be selfish, by definition, is to be thinking of one's own well being without any particular regard for others.

Now why did I began this entry with what seemed like a GP essay????

I have no idea. Just felt like it.

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY SANITY!!!!!!!!! IT DISAPPEARED!!!

If I hear one more word of encouragement from my father, I am going to hide away in shame. Honestly, talk about pressure!! I know that when he saw me set my sight on JC, he thinks i'm gonna go for the bigtime like becoming a lawyer, a power broker, a magistrate.....not once did i hear him ask me about what career paths I might want to choose. The last time I talked about becoming a teacher, he bluntly pointed out that teachers are graduates without any othe job options..... gee, thanks a lot.

He talks about how much money one can make. Is income still considered as a measure of success?? I guess the term 'in pursuit of passion' has got no weight what so ever on soem minds. It just sad. And there he was talking about how young people nowadays have no ability, no guts to make the local music and film industry what it was during it's golden age in the 50's, 60's and early 70's...

2006-09-05T20:03:00.000+08:00

oh wow..I'm blogging...

I went to Geylang today with my mum and bros. My mum wanted us to experience something called electrical field therapy. Supposed to be good for you. It apparantly helps to speed up the metabolic processes within your body while the therapy is going on, at the same time promoting blood circulation and cleaner arteries.

What you do is to basically sit on a chair that has been wired to a specially designed electrica generator. Switch the machine on and voila!! Nothing much happens. You just sit there until 30 mins is up. W#hile you are sitting, 9000 volts of electricity is coursing through your body. In case you are wondering why i'm still alive, its because the current applied is only 0.0016 A.....not enough to kill you. The only precaution you have to take is to not touch anyone while being...err....treated. Otherwise, you will get a shock.

Currently experiencing aches at my joints as well as lethargy. According to the therapist, those are normal effects that show that the thrapy is working. But to feel the full effects, one needs to continue going for at least two weeks. I don't think I'm going back there. Those were the most boring 30 mins of my....I cannot say life. There are still those nasty econs lectures to think about. Urm...nost boring 30 mins of the day. Yes, that's it.

I really dunno why a lot of people don't like Corrinne May. Her songs are easy to relate to, down to earth and, refreshingly, not saturated with sexual innuendos. 0_0 Maybe the last part was the reason she's not popular?? Hahar...joking.... hope its not true though...

Am currently horrified at myself for not touching my school notes for the last two days. My exams are coming and God knows I need to pass those exams to get promoted. My CA, of which 60% comes from assignments, is in shambles. I THINK it's something to do with not handing my work. At least there's the class participation segment. Raise your hand, say something(anything) and you get those marks......

Fresh tomatoes are delicious...am eating one right now..

Has anyone ever thought about how the world migth be like 100 or 200 years from now? Will the Middle East ever be peaceful? Will Asia still be the centre of economic development? Will the air still be breathable? Will rabbits still exist? The last one's kinda hard to guess isn't it....

Finished my tomato. Had just realised that yours truly has stuffing his face for the past few days. Am feeling quite worried. Last time I checked, I was about 5 kg away from being of a healthy weight. Now i'm not so sure. I should at least exercise once or twice in the following week. Anyone fancy a 10 km hike at Macritchie?

Hmm.....I am feeling nostalgic. My movements are being controlled and watched(to a certain extent). Freedom of speech is controlled. Indoctrination and brainwashing is everywhere(from the number of people who actually believe that SI is a talent show) and everyone is expected to put on a face despite what they truly feel(land of four million smiles my a**). These are the features of a Dystopia, an opposite of a Utopia. Is there anyone out there who gets what I'm saying??

The holidays, as usual, suck.

Happy Teachers Day

2006-08-30T23:42:00.000+08:00

As I type this post, I thought of all the teachers I have encountered before, all of them different. Think about it, really. Each of them contributed to make us who we are now. Each of them taught us different things, lessons not only in academics but also to be who we truly are inside.

Many of us called them names, even me. Yet, without that irritating old hag who taught english in primary school, we'd never been able to communicate clearly. Without that tough woman who taught me mathematics in secondary, we'd never be able to recall formulas at the speed of light.

A teacher is the root from where all the other professions originates. This I believe is very true. One day of teaching will never produce an immediate result. The result will be seen in a few weeks, monthes...maybe years. In the meantime, teachers continue to toil with their students. For this I thank you. Happy Teachers Day.

blah3

2006-08-27T01:02:00.000+08:00

Hahahahahahaa.....so happy...muahahahahaa...I CAN BLOG!!! properly at least. not the cut and paste of my last post. Finally found the time.

My exams are coming and as with all exams I want to set targets and here they are.

General Paper: B
Malay: A
Economics:B
Geography:B
English Lit:B
Mathematics:E

XD

I think the targets are reasonable. If I continue to- no- start to work hard from now onwards. This is the promos afterall. I already did so badly for my CA. I have to say that I will score particularly low in the assignments criteria, considering the amount still not handed in.

Thus, that is why I must focus on the main papers. Some might think that my goals might be a tad too high but there is really no point in setting low targets. The higher your target is, the further you'll go, even when you don't meet that target.Right?

Dark blue is such a nice song. Why SOME people dun like it is beyond me. hahahar...just joking. evryone ntitled to their own opinions.

Just an interesting point: My group in GP are the champions in the intra class debates. hahar, it was so.....it was against the odds that we would win, considering the motions and our stand.

On the motion: This house supports the death penalty for murder.
We were the proposition.

The final motion: This house believes in the right to bear arms.
We were again the proposition.

I was difficult, primaruly because therewere a lot of arguments out there AGAINST these motions and we had to find points to counter them all. Imagine talking about the morality found in carrying out the death penalty! But we did it. To my dedicated team of future lawyers, researchers and magistrates:

Nanthini(third speaker)
Natria(first speaker)
Xinni(secretary)
Jolyon(secretary)
me(second speaker and final speaker)

WELL DONE!!!!!!!!

I also won the best speaker award but it was nothing...really.......so happy.........

2006-08-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

DARK BLUE by Jack's Mannequin

I have
I have you breathing down my neck
Breathing down my neck
I don't, don't know
What you could possible expect
Under this condition-so
I'll wait, I'll wait
For the ambulance to come
Ambulance to come
Pick us up off the floor
What did you possibly expect
Under this condition, so
Slow down
This night's a perfect shade of

Dark blue, dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
When I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning, burning down
Dark blue, dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
Well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning
'Til there's nothing but
Dark blue, dark blue

This flood
This flood is slowly rising up
Swallowing the ground
Beneath my feet
Tell me how anybody thinks
Under this condition
So I'll swim I'll swim
As the water rises up
Sun is sinking down
And now all I can see
Are the planets in a row
Suggesting it's best that I
Slow down
This night's a perfect shade of

Dark blue, dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
When I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning, burning down
Dark blue, dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
Well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning
Dark blue

We were boxing
We were boxing the stars
We were boxing
You were swinging for Mars
And then the water reached the west coast
And took the power lines, the power lines
And it was me and you
And the whole town under water
There was nothing we could do

It was dark blue

Dark blue, dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
When I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning, burning down
Dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
Well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning
Now there's nothing but
Dark blue

If you've ever been alone
You'll knowDark blue
If you've ever been alone
You'll know
You'll know

*****

This is one of the few songs today that I can truly say rocks. Anyone heard of it? Its really really really good.

Passion

2006-08-08T12:06:00.000+08:00

Hehe, went to the Riverside National Day Celebrations cum Award Ceremony just now. It was so fun!! Saw Anusha, Anita, Taufik, Roxanne, Angeline...not to mention all the juniors. Hate to admit it but I miss that place. It just so...lively..colourful...filled to the brim with energy. JC is just so.....mature? Stuffy? Boring? Can't think of any words strong enough..

You are now reading the blog of the recipient of the Passion For Learning Award for 5 distinctions. Hahaha..hao lian..hahahahahaha. Th ecelebration was really fantastic. I think it's become a tradition for the students to go prancing around and around the hall, all while screaming "WHER I BELOOOoooOOONGGGG"...

Am now in IJ library. Have to meet Mrs Siva for pw....sigh......

ii

2006-08-07T22:54:00.000+08:00

Twisted
By Muhammad Hidhir Bin Md Razak

Every time I see you cry
I feel grateful, for I know that
The more tears I catch
The more love I get.

Every time I see you smile
In the distance, I frown
For what was it that brought you
happiness without me?

As time goes by, your beauty fades
No longer attracting sneaky leers
Or outrageous stares
Only I know what you looked like
And appreciates

Every time you
Scream at me
I sigh in contentment.
Because I know that it is me
You have in your mind.

day of reckoning

2006-08-07T22:38:00.000+08:00

The Window.
by Muhammad Hidhir bin Md Razak

The night sky is void
of any stars that might give it life
The moon, sole giver of light
that cuts through the air like a knife
Is beckoning me to go
out into the night.
Yet how can I when
I am trapped
In this dead, cold room?
Through the window?
Impossible.
I'll die.
As simple as that.
A definite end.
To all that is me.
To me.
To my soul.
To my task at hand.
To my belief that
there is still good somewhere.
And yet it is there.
A reminder of what might be.
The window.
It beckons.

Blah 2

2006-07-31T00:10:00.000+08:00

Oh, I would also like to complain about the printer. It is now inkless and is more useful as a table than as what it is supposed to be. A printer.

My room is a mess. I cannot focus. Project work is going to a place I strive to stay away from. Am trying to motivate myself to work hard. I cannot keep thinking of the disincentives of not doing my work to actually make me do my work. It only makes me more depressed.

I would like to go on a diet also. Damn TAF is also irritating. Running everyday should not be condoned. It is disruptive(to sleep) and energy consuming. I have many classes on the 4th floor.

Am feeling slightly better after venting everything on this blog. Will now try to do some work.

Blah

2006-07-30T23:42:00.000+08:00

My youngest brother has a girlfriend. I pity the poor girl. My other brother needs a girlfriend badly. But I really can't think of any girl I hate enough to set him upon her. Don't ask anyhting about me. I'll just ignore you. Am a little sad though. Shut up.

I am really cheesed off with my brothers. They waltz into my room whenever they feel like it, claiming that it is the "boy's" and that it is their right to do so. Yet the moment anyone mentions anything about cleaning the damn room, they immediately switch to "its Hidhir's so he should clean it". Damn irritating.

Drama is also another ordeal. WHYYYYY do I keep joining CCAs that occupy A LOT of my time? Drama was supposed to be a 'slack' CCA but no, the teacher in charge had to my ambitiousifnotmaniaclike literature teacher. Who hires an external instructor yet does not regard his advice whatsoever, leaving us torn as to who should we listen to. The one who can make the performance better? Or the one who can make our lives hell? Tough pick.

Am neglecting all my homework. Am gonna die because of it. Damn COP is irritating the hell out of me. Isn't our fault the key chains are ugly and no one wants to buy it.

Am also playing digimon card battle(playstation). Is the main reason for lack of homework done. Am a little depressed. Am not looking forward to school at all. PE is hell.

I think I need a vacation already. The last one wasn't long enough. School took away 3/4 of it...

Listening to Daniel Powter's Bad Day is not helping.

Oh nononononono

2006-07-24T22:43:00.001+08:00

What in the world is wrong with this coputer?? Urm...no, I'm not gona waste time talking about this useless piece of scrap that clearly belongs in the....wait, I already am wasting my time......

AHHHH!!!! GAYLE!!!! NOO!!!!!! WHYYYY!!!!!!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!

Joakim shld be the one out...oops, wait, in SG Idol, the best goes out first rite?

Haix...school was supposed to end at 3.10 today...ended at six instead. Honestly, why in the world are the teachers so ...so obsessed with make up lessons? They should be able to get the list of public holidays before the year starts right? Then they should be able to plan the contents according to the number of days they are going to have, not the number of wok days in a year. If the teacher is the one who is absent, I can understand. Sort of. But its ridiculous when they say,"Oh, you're going to miss Economics lecture on Good Friday, all of you have to come for a make up next Monday."

Hmm, maybe I just don't like staying back in school all that much. Then again, who does?

And I feel that I am wasting my time writing stoies and posting them on fanfiction.net.... sure, people read. But they never review, so I cannot find ways to improve on my writing. And I won't even know if people are really reading my stories or had just read halfway before losing interest in it. Ah, well. guess I'll just continue when I have the time. But ONLY in my SPARE time. Homework is making sure I have very little of that.

new poem:

PEARL

A glistening pearl.
Sparkling in the darkness
of the mother oyster's shell.
Jammed into a bed of coral.
Unable to free itself.
But it is safe.
Safe from the storm raging
above the sea...

BY- Muhammad Hidhir Bin MD Razak

It DOES have a meaning in it. AND NO. Not that I want a pearl or a storm or anything......coral would be nice though. Not the pointy ones.

I'm not gonna complain about my project work anymore. Life is short.

Oh nononononono

2006-07-24T22:43:00.000+08:00

WORDS OF WISDOM

2006-07-17T22:04:00.001+08:00

I bring to you some quotes from all over to help you with whatever you are facing (emotinally). HOwever, some quotes should not be taken too seriously...

~The freedom of speech entitles one to say what one needs to say, not what one wants to~
-me

~Freedom to choose need to come with wisdom to make the right choice~
-anonymous

~I can't think about the future. To do that, I need to sort out the present first..~
-some charachter from some movie

~Forget about life. Whats the use of caring so much about somthing thats not gonna last?~
-someone really depressed

~Life is too short to spend a quarter of it in school~
- me when in sec school

~Life is becoming shorter the longer I stay in this place~
-me in jc

~Someone else in the future will reflect the feelings in your heart today~
-Orange Range (jap band I really like)

~ There's no sense in telling me the wisdom of a fool~
-Frente

~You should notice that there is no other you~
- High and Mighty Colour (another jap band)

~ I did not fail 99 times (when trying to invent the lightbulb). I merely found 99 ways how a lightbulb could not work.~
- Thomas Edison

~Life is like a tangle. You can only follow one thread~
-Queen Amidala's grandmother (seriously)

~Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate....leads to the dark side~
- Yoda

~The moment you say the word "present", the present is already in the past..~
-someone with nothing better to do with his brain

~Our whole lives are spent waiting for the inevitable. In the meantime, we make the most of our time by making that wait more bearable~
-my sis

There you have it. I'd like to know any more interestin sayings ya'll might have. TAG!!!

sigh

2006-07-15T22:06:00.000+08:00

Here are my results for my summer test (otherwise known as mid-year exam)

H1 SUBJECTS
General Paper- E(pass)

Mother Tongue (Malay)- B(merit)

Mathematics- U(err..)

H2 SUBJECTS
Geography-C(pass)

English Literature-C(pass)

Economics-E(pass)

Well, I can't say I'm very happy with my results. Relieved, yes. Happy, no. Biggest shock for me was my GP and my Malay marks. I had expected to get a distinction for Malay. And I really thought I'd at least get a C in GP (there is no such thing as a D grade). It's really not comforting to know, through the teachers, how 'lucky' we were to have had the questions we had. How lenient they had been in marking our scripts. How the skills that were tested on were 'basic' skills, no where near the standard expected at 'A' levels.

Considering I didn't study all that much, I guess I AM lucky.......

~as aromatic as the scent of a crushed flower, petals scattering in the wind, everywhere yet no where at all~
-a thread of thought from my incredibly complex mind

Quite deep I think.....

2006-07-05T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.....everyone's having fever right now...WORLDCUP fever, i mean. Have to admit, I'm not as 'on' as i was four years ago, during the worldcup at Seoul... probably because I', not a wakeupat2towatchamatch kinda guy....or probably because none of my teams are up there in the semis.... but i'm backing Italy though....because they've been playing rather consistent football throughout history and not onoffonoffonoff.......I'm not sure there's been a worldcup in which Italy has not qualified......

Had a trip to OCS(Officer Cadet School) today, where they train all the commandoes, lieutenants, officers...... the compound was really pleasing to the eye: colourful buildings, interesting structures, fountains, pools of water and of course, like the rest of Singapore, has a garden-like landscape with colourful plants and greenery everywhere. Maybe I'll consider going there, it looks better than the camp at Sembawang anyway....

Most of us here in Singapore think about the future with particular attention to what jobs they want to do, what they want to major in university (did you know that the first universities on earth were built in present day Iraq and Iran?), how many kids thay have, what kind of house they want to live in...But have any of you thought about what we can do to promote change? To fuel advancement, to have an impact on others(positively of course), to leave a mark, a legacy, on this world that we live in as a testament to how we had truly Lived? Many of us don't think that way sadly....many of us question the possibiliy of such grandeur. Yet when we look at history, many things that people had deemed impossible are considered daily occurences today.Maybe the impossible is merely the untried?

I sound like a freakin motivational speaker now.....hmmmm.... a new career path reveals itself...... haha.....stanley just told me to update my blog on MSN......see lah, forgot what to say already....

Oh ya, an a cappella concert featuring yours(TAS) truly as well as some other names like Verve Enharmonics, TONE, TAG and Juz B will be held on the 28th of this month!!! Tickets are ON SALE with ME!!! $12 each!!! PLS contact me to get details or if want to come. SUPPORT ME!!!!

Anyways, a heartfelt goodbye to our dear classmate Celest, who has decided to withdraw from JC life.....sigh..... gd LUCK!!!! hopefully we'll get something for u..... maybe a momento....

Oh, what's this? A new poem? YES!!! its not by me though....

Variations on the Word "Sleep"
by Margaret Atwood

I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear
I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

This is one of my favourite poems, found it through my literatrure assignments...we had to do a practical criticism on it. I especially love the last stanza....

new poem..

2006-06-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

The Light

Shadows fell upon me,
like a fog, surrounding me
without so much as a whisper.
Groping, tripping, I tried to find my way.
Honestly, I did!
But my fingers caught nothing but air.
My feet felt nothing but the
cold, hard surface of stone.
Then, out of the corner of
my eye, a glimmer of light
appeared.
I turned and the light vanished.
The light was gone...

-Muhammad Hidhir Bin MD Razak

Past and present

2006-06-22T22:42:00.000+08:00

*Through the years, you've never let me down. You turned my life around, helped me do all the things that I want to do....*

hmm.......I liked the song.....hahar...do any of you know the song? I'll be very surprised if anyone does....the song is older than me =P.......

anyway......hmmm.....remember the list i made up a few entries ago? the list i made abt what to do during the holidays? i'm glad to say i did MOST of what i listed(since i listed several SLEEP in that heheh)

but i still have not cleaned my room or finished studying and doing hmwk.........

I went on vacation though!! all of you can forget about langkawi, Pulau Redang is the new langkawi!!! crystal clear water(even at the jetty), lagoons with white sands and (literally) blue-green sea....sigh...here i go rambling abt that place again.......i wanna stay thr.......but thrs no library so too bad =P

hmm...lets see...

What Career Paths I MIGHT Take:

law (don't laugh)
education
entertainment (singer, actor, clown)
media (journalism)
writing (fictional)
psychology
business

Okay...safe to say i have not decided what to do with the rest of my life yet. Don't say its too early. Its actually quite good to know what you want to become so you can remain focused and all that.....

Btw, mathilda made it thru to the next round of singapore idol. Glad to know thr is someone else up thr who can actually carry a tune!! (the other is rahimah) i think the problem is talent is so rare in our country that anyone with anything special is already snapped up and signed on...and thus, the s**t you hear on SingIdol.......mostly anyway....

2006-06-15T02:15:00.000+08:00

Don't you just miss the days when:

your parents buy you sweets and treats without you having to ask for them.
running around in public places does not draw questioning stares.
not doing homework can still mean passing your exams.
projects are projects and exams are exams.
holidays were for rest.
you can eat chocolate all day and not feel fatter.
friends are friends and anything more is disgusting.
sleeping after 11 is a priveledge.
not sleeping for 3 days straight is fun.
use of the computer is strictly for games...and the occasional paint art.
you can get an A in art just for drawing stick figures.
using a powerpoint slide to present a project is very, very impressive and high-tech.
u can get away with stupid questions. u can even get anwers to them.
U get to play catching for PE.
teachers call ur parents; not u.
Writing poems in the toilets does not equal to public caning.
singing is just shouting loudly in a tune.
dancing is what Barney the Dinosaur does when he sings.
saturday mornings are for watching Pokemon.
Birthdays equal to cake in mouth; not cake in face.
flipping erasers is fun.
a cough and a groan equals to an MC.
collecting bus tickets is a hobby.
Formal wear is anything that is not Pjs, t-shirt and shorts.
People smile and clap even when u sing out of tune.
U are cute when u are fat.

Not that I mind the present. I just like the past way, waaaaayyyy better....... hmmm..... anything else y'all out thr wanna add? u know the drill...

Hidhir, over and out.

WAAAHHHHHH!!!

2006-06-08T11:45:00.000+08:00

NOOOOOOO!!!!! MY GPP nightmares are back!!!! arrrrggghhhh!!!!!!! Msr Siva said that she wanted to improve on our oh-we-worked-so-hard-yet-still-cannot-make-it GPP which was supposed to have been already approved!!! haix..... well...... guess its for the best.....

Anyway, i'll be gone from Singapore tmr onwards for vacation. Actually the whole family is just tagging along with my mum for her business trip but, HAH! , who cares? I desperately NEED a vacation. Even if it's in oh-so-exotic-yet-so-been-there-done-that Malaysia..... one of the islands actually....hmmm....... hope the beaches are clean at least.....

ANd i failed my Geog test by One mark....... reminds me of the good(huh?) old days................... I passed Literature though... so thats one H2 subject in the bag...... I'm quite sure i can at least pass either GP or Malay for a H1 subject........

Such is the pitiful storey of my life............... work and play mixed all over the place..........

2006-06-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...looking back at my post dated 24th May, the one where i said i will begin discussions on topics that plague our society, i realised that the problems i talked about were MY problems...ah well.......now u all know hoe self absorbed i am....damn........WOOPS! class rep not supposed to curse !!! WAT!! NO!! WAIT!!! ARRGGHHH!!! DON'T TAKE ME!!! I'M INNOCENT!!!! NOOOOoooo.........

after a ten second prison term, i am back with a NEW POEM!!! (now u all know how lame i am...shyt...ARRGGHHHH NOOT YOU AGAAAAIIINNN!!!)

HOMEWORK

I see

I breathe

I sighed

And tried

I think

And Linked!!

Oh what joy...

Headache...pain...

I think again..

Oh no...

Its wrong

Its so insane!!

I wrote

I note

I read

And checked

ITS FINISHED!!

And now for the next question....

-Muhammad Hidhir Bin MD Razak

how is it??? actually i really did finish one question.... i'm not that hopeless =D

pls tag and maybe u can do a PC (practical criticism) on my poem...hahar...

My gpp ordeal is now OVER!!! now for the FUN part of the project...heeeeheeeeheeee (i'm being sarcastic by the way)

hmmm..nothing much to blog about.....gossip(boring)......complaints(done that) .........discussions( trying but failing dismally)......poems(my brain is not a poem machine).......ARRGGHHHHH!!!! shows how sad my life is rite now.....

maybe i shld do what the others are doing: giving a detailed account of their day to day activities....... i don't want ppl to slp on their keyboards though..... SSSSSIIIIIIGGHH!!!!

jaajaja

2006-06-04T01:14:00.000+08:00

MY MP3 PLAYER IS FUNCTIONING!!!!!! actually my big bro bought another one since the last one didn't even last a day outside.......thank God for warranty cards.....

Had a cappella camp today. was a little sick so my voice was kinda... erm.....it sounded a little...errrrr.....it was.......urm....it sounded sick? this really embarassing part was when singing I GET AROUND when i pushed a bit too hard and went chao xia(is that how u spell it) on my solo bit.......
it started very early so our performance was a little sleepy/boring sounding...
it got better in the afternoon though... Larry was great as usual.... the camp wasn't as impressive as last dec's though.....

hmm...... Joy was right...MSN is addictive.......

i thik i'm going to be strangled by quite a few number of teachers.... i'm not tellin u why........

my PW gpp was finally approved... ok, some changes had to be made but still....at least we dun have to find a totally new idea!!

THOUGHT OF THE DAY: shorts a really nice to sleep in.....with the fan on full blast....

2006-06-02T18:53:00.000+08:00

My mum said i'll get sick if i keep staying up till the wee hours of the morning, even if it was cos of work or project...Guess what?

SHE WAS RIGHT!!!

Thank you rui ling!! u are the only one who responded to my question on censorship.^^

The holidays are here!!! (we can still pretend to be happy ppl rite?)
This is a list of what i would like to do b4 school reopens:

Organize my room (errrr...)
study (errrrrrrrrrr................)
Actually finish ALL my homework
go on vacation (guess where...)
SIng!!
catch up on sleep^^
watch movies( watched)
chalet? (vry slim chance..)
class reunion? (i dun wanna organize though..)
read at least 3 books
learn at least 4 nw songs (3 already from TAS)
..........sleep...........
slee........snore snore..........

I dun think i'll get to do most of them though....... seeing as how i'll be tempted to sleep all day.......ur such a lazy bum hidhir.......

hmmmm.......... to think that i'm the class rep.........

2006-05-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

From now on, I will begin, on my blog, engaging and thoughtful dicussions regarding the issues that plaque our modern society today. I will start the ball rolling with a list so that the issues which we, the future shapers and leaders Singapore, will read on and discuss will be presented in a clear and coherent manner.

amount of homework

I understand that the education format is trying to move away from the examination-based assesment system and would like to move on to an era in which our creativity and other various talents can be showcased. Hence, we know see a sharp increase in the amount of project work that has to be done as well as an emphasis on co-curricular activities(CCA). However--aiyah what the hell!! just wanted to complain bout the big mountain of homework when we still have projects, CCA, investitures and other what-nots to contend with....

2. no time to sleep- don't need to elaborate

3. need lappie- no time to elaborate

4.no money-elaboration too short to bother to type out

5.lack of panadols when i think bout the next two years....-elaboration too long to bother typing out

What do you all think about censorship? Infringement of artistic rights? Can't be bothered? Don't know what censorship is? Tag on this..

Had parliementary investiture today. Feel honoured reading an MP's blog right now???? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAYAHHA

new poem..

2006-05-17T20:25:00.000+08:00

WHITE WALLS
by hidhir

I sat on my bed.
In my room, alone.
I gathered my thoughts.
I closed my eyes....

And I flew.
Away from tales untold.
Away with serenity.
Away from the white walls..
that contained me.

another milestone crossed

2006-05-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

HUGE MILESTONE FINALLY CROSSED

In a surprising turn of events on 12 May 2006, resident IT-handicapped student Muhammad Hidhir Bin MD Razak has finally created an MSN account. Though it was done hesitantly, it was done nonetheless.

When asked on this absolutely shocking move, Hidhir said " I am too lazy too discuss project work on the phone. I would rather sit down in front of the com and type...". Astonishing answer, no?

Responses to this move by his classmates ranges from "wow" to "so??" to "congratulations!!".

Other technological milestones crossed by this strapping young man include the creation of an email, a blog as well as the addition of a tagboard to his blog. The student community holds its breath for the day when he can finally type without looking at the keyboard. To add this fine gentlemen into your MSN address list (if you know him and vice versa), his hotmail address is hidhir_razak@hotmail.com.

dam PE

2006-04-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

let me talk about my HOD of PE: Ms Lee, 20++
physical appearance: her tanned skin and toned body is perhaps the object of envy for the girls (and an object of admiration for the boys)

personality: quite likable outside PE class ( take note: OUTSIDE PE CLASS)

reminds me a lot of Mr Kok actually but is not really as encouraging as he was (she frowns upon those who fail 2.4 and says they MUST TRY HARDER)

but what i really admire yet hate about her is that she is a total freak on the tracks. after a few rounds running with the girls, the order would be ; her, Jasmine a good 200 metres behind, and the rest of the girls. what would be a long distance pace for her is like a sprint for many of us and the expression on her face while running is down right scary...

according to my friend, when she runs with the boys, if the boys do not pass her after 1 and a half rounds, they are too slow.... and sad to say that when I was running, she passed me twice.....

my friend who used to be in the cross country team told me that for one training session a few weeks back, they (the girls team) had to run 8km non-stop at macritchie.... and after they had finished the run (MS Lee finished first of course) they had to run up and down the slope for further exercise (she ran wif them) and when they were finally allowed to go home, she stayed behind to continue training. for herself. by herself.

did i mention that she was the one who led the morning PT at the camp... i think she was being NICE to us then.....

Now i'm going to talk about my maths tutor................................................................................................. ................................................................ .................... ............................................. ................................................................................................errrrrrrrrrr............................
...........................................ok, yes, he is THAT BORING!! attending his lessons are like watching a student presenting a project, using mathematical terms without explaining what they mean or telling us that this formula is for finding this value without telling us what the signs in the equations mean (we are at application of diffrentiation now by the way)...... needless to say, he would fail his presentation miserably..... and my fried said this chapter was supposed to be EASY to UNDERSTAND..maybe if someone else was teaching.....

ah well... life goes on......

2006-04-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

PE was fun today..... run 6 rounds...didn't meet timing...run 2 more rounds....all after pull ups, sit ups and standing broad jumps as "warm ups".....whats not to like???

I wanna talk bout my camp (complain more like) which was at ......................hold ur breath....................... JALAN BAHTERA MOE CAMPSITE!!!!

i mean, is that the ONLY campsite in Singapore or what? and they say INNOVA is taken from the word INNOVATIVE....the only INNOVATIVE thing about the camp was the morning PT (physical training), i never knew there were so many varieties of jumping jacks.... or so many ways of counting...or so many counts at that....

Thinking bout it, there were a lot fun times lar..like the campfire presentation. We did a fancy drill with Venu drilling us the steps and coordination and i think becoz of him and Edmund's really cool moves that a lot of people were impressed... all in one day's preperation!!! of course, it was a class effort, and i really think my class has teamspirit going on in that camp..

Some of the funny things i heard or things said to me ( don't be angry at me pls those who said this things, i'm not poking fun at you. they were just really hilarious...)

in the bunk

"can u pls remove ur underwear from my head?"

"stop touching me can or not?"
"then i touch myself or what?"

"was it good sleeping wif me last nite?"
"that sounds so wrong..."

"where are ur cups?"
"errrrr...i don't wear those things..."

'its been such a long time since i've had an erection"
"what do you propose? mass erection?"

HAHAHAHAA......so funny........ thats not all..

during morning PT,

while doing push ups...
" i swear, she's screwing wif all of us..'
"really? when's my turn?"

while lying down and stretching arms..
"stop touching my leg lah oi!"
"not me"
"then not talking to you lah"

while doing sit ups..
"wah lan eh.."
"only body up lah oi!"

hehehehehahahahahah....so funny, i guess if you don't think so its coz u have to b thr to hear it....

in the toilet,

" lets go bathe together."

"crap, who never flush"
"what? the crap?"

and my personal favourite...
"is this the girls or boys toilet ar?"

i mean.... what the...... dam blur lor the guy.......

well... the fun is now over and its all back to lectures and watever else we boring jc students do......

by the way, two people from our class celebrated their birthdays today : Jolyon and Deena. had a cake wif candles. very funny..we put down their names together like this:

JOLYON & DEENA

trying to hint at something. maybe it would have been more obvious with a heart shaped cake.haha....but we wanted blackforest flavour so......

turns out there are a lot of birthdays from other classes so lunchtime was perferated wif b'dae songs...

2006-04-11T10:08:00.000+08:00

see how scatter brained I can be? i posted my previous entry two times and its not the first time i've done so... watch out for the day where you will see three same entries.... nah, i'm not THAT bad (hopefully)

Currently in IJC library blogging into both my blogs. don't bother bout the other one.. its for a school project, its in Malay and its full of crap....did i mention that it's in Malay? The Malay Language is very unnatural to me. Every body knows that. What makes it crappier is that the Language used in my other blog is pure, proper, exam-like kind of Malay.(no doubt if i were to send my entries for an exam, i would fail fantastically)

I like the blogskin though. Its the one I used a long time ago for this blog before Mojo Jojo took a break from harrasing little girls to change it for me.....

Looking through my previous entries, i realise that i don't really post regularly...but most of my posts are quite lengthly compared to some others.....

My pile of homework is growing at an alarming rate. If my workdesk is a country, then people are giving birth everyday yet no one is dying.... should maybe release an infectious virus a.k.a start an intensive work regime, soon hopefully. WAit... then wouldn't i be killing the citizens of my country???? lame hidhir.. ... ... ... .... .. .. .. ... ..... ...

All this tension and stress is not good for me......... and to make matters worse, there is still PE later.......

Hmmmm........ turns out that literature is Very, very, very fun to do. You get to read storybooks for homework, watch movies during lectures, act up during tutorials and say whatever you want to the teacher(regarding the work of course). I mean, when we went through a short descriptive passage last week, Donovon told the teacher the passage was boring and not only did the teacher not scold him, she completely agreed with him!! How cool is that?

Oh and Joanne/ Said ( or Sayed, or Sayd, i dunno, too many spelling variations) still wants whatever CD you borrowed from him the last time. Don't innocently smile and click the X button after you read this.......

the week had just begun and i am already exhausted......

2006-04-09T21:14:00.001+08:00

Have been wondrin why some of you haven't been updatin ur blogs but just remembered something about a camp for SP freshi- er, students....

Feelin kinda bored at home these past few days.... other than fanfic.net, have also been playin gunbound and watching youtube.com. very entertaining indeed.

Currently trying to forget about pile of homework which seemed to have grown from big to bigger..... i know jc is not for slackers... i'm still trying to adjust myself to studying again... l know i shouldn't be giving excuses but... too late for that huh?

Again, if you just decided to read my blog after a few months, take note that i have a tag board now... pls just post anything (not ANYTHING!!, i'd like to keep this blog NC-16 pls) on the tag board. to gethr, click SCORE above the keyboard.

By the way, did u know that if you press the white keys, short, poetic phrases appear? lol, been using this blog for a year and had just realised it. or maybe i knew and just forgot, scatter-brained boy that i am....

2006-04-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

2006-04-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

PAST REMEMBERED...

Is it a sin to think of the past....
If not why does it hurts to do so....
Is this retribution?
For chances missed long ago?

I never thought about destiny....
Or even the future for that matter...
But the past, it comes back to me...
All feelings buried and dreams, tattered...

I guess this is how it would be...
For me to forever remember...

eeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...... not sure whr that came from but its all me..... not a comforting thought..

oh yeah, my subject combi is H2 Geog, Econs and English Lit, along wif H1 math... just thought ya'll like to know.... or not...

Hahah.... Econs project was due today after lunch... guess when my goup started the damned thing: beginning of lunch .O_0

and to think i'm the Econs rep for my class......
math remedial today was very fruitful. finally grasping Functions... and to think we started that topic two-three weeks ago.....

Love my new classmates...miss my old ones....very sleepy now but still have Malay compo... i know... i know....shoulda finished it b4 blogging but...really missed me blog..haha...pathetic...

AND I AM SO ANgry!!! OC IS TMR AND I CAN"T GO COS GOT NO INVITATION!!!! I SPENT 4 years in that SCHOOL ........ ah ...watever lah....

oh and for those going poly...... thank ur lucky stars u don't have PE.... in JC they should just call it BMT instead of disguising it as Physical Education...exactly what education do you get from running 6 rounds around the track evry PE lesson i would never know...

Camp coming in around a week or two...guess whr we're going... JALAN BAHTERA AGAIN!!!!!! honestly, are there no other decent places for us to camp??? we r JC1s and that camp is used for Pri 5 students..... what in the world......

HAHAHAH

2006-04-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

I HAVE A TAG BOARD!!!!!!

this is the part where all of you burst into tears and think: our LITTLE hidhir has finally figured out html...sob sob.....

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA............

now that i think about it... its been such a long time since i have updated and people might have already forgotten this blog exists.......

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BRILLIANCE DON"T DIE EASILY!!!!

any spelling mistakes are purely typos by the way....REALLY!!!

Here i am

2006-04-02T16:27:00.000+08:00

Ok OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK.... i know i have not been updating. its because i actually forgot my password but in a sudden flash of brilliance, it all came back to me.... lame excuse, i know.

OK....list of important events undocumented.

1. release of O-level results
2. trip to USA
3. birth of new nephew
4. admittance to boot ca- i mean Innova Junior College
5. new family car

errrrrr....... these i guess are some of the more important things that had happened over the past 2 monthes, during which this blog was forgotten.

Currently trying very hard to snap out of holiday mood.... using the growing pile of homework as a motivator.....

placed bowling as the first CCA choice, cuesport as second ... the school is huge by the way. second largest JC in Singapore, next to Hwa Chong Institution.

I am also now a member at fanfiction.net, posting stories.

errrrrr....not knowing what to write so i think i'll just sign off.
till next time.

2006-02-06T12:58:00.000+08:00

Dear Readers, the publications in this online diary were written without any intention to hurt, critisize(not that much anyway), or to offend any race, persons or ideas.
If any publications happen to hurt, critisize(not that much anyway), or offend any race, persons or ideas, they are probably there for a good reason.
The reason the above statement is made and published on this online diary is because the owner of this online diary is thoroughly bored out of his mind and has nothing more productive to do.
The owner of this online diary made the above statement as he does not want to be sued or fined or punished in any way by anyone.
If you find the above statement strange or out of the ordinary or out of character for the owner of this online diary, it will comfort you to know that he is currently in a rather sorry mental state.
As an example of the sorry state of the mental condition of the owner of this online diary, he is currently talking to himself and his sister's hairbrush regarding the release of his O-level results and typing at the same time.
If any of the readers of this online diary actually knows the owner of this online diary, please be kind enough to put him out his misery by either organise a productive and fun-filled outing or put a gun into his mouth. The former option is excellently preferred by the owner of this online diary for relatively obvious reasons.
If this entry is mentally, emotionally or physically disturbing to any readers, the owner of this online diary profusely apologises and will be happy to recommend a psychiatrist or a doctor.
The above statements are rated as 'PG'(pure garbage). If this rating is inappropriate for any readers, the owner of this online diary would like to ask " What in the world are you DOING HERE?"

2006-01-25T19:18:00.000+08:00

21 days left to releasing of O-levels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hopefully i'll do well....i'll do well...i'll do well..........shit..........i'll do badly...i'll do badly......sigh.

MUST THINK POSITIVE!!!!!!

i won't fail...i won't fail....*so much for positive thinking*

i still donno which to go to..jc or poly? aiyah, still 21 days left. might as well make the most of it....*logging in to neopets*

2006-01-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.............its only two more months...no need to freak out....two more months........won't be bored then........two more months.....*sitting with knees under chin on the floor, rocking back and forth*

2005-12-27T14:52:00.000+08:00

I'm BaaaAAAAaaaacccccKKKKKK!!!!!

langkawi was awesome, despite the hot-enough-to-fry-egg-on-sand weather. The beaches were fantastic though not as great as those u would see in the web or on postcards. the food was nice but nothing out of the ordinary. it was really a bummer( the food) cos it was not up to expectations. the costs though are WAAAAAAYYYY too high. can u believe it. RM26+ for a steak and RM 4 for fried noodles? a can of sprite is RM2.50, RM3 for one that is chilled.

souvenirs were NOT cheap so those of u who received anything at all had better count u'r lucky stars i actually did not forget on purpose after i saw the price(y) tags.

my Butt really hurts after sitting on the bus for 14 freakin hours.

no. of vacations had so far (not counting Sentosa,Malacca with relatives and Pasir Ris): 2 (Jakarta and langkawi) + 1 (when ended up in Penang as had gotten lost on way to langkawi)+3(Batam and Tioman Island)

no. of vacations had so far in which we hadn't gotten lost: 0

no. of vacations actually enjoyed:3

no. of vacations where we got to go whr i wanted to go: 1 (i suggested one of the Batam trips)

the coolest thing happened when we went island hopping at langkawi( can still hear tour guide saying how langkawi is made up of 105 islands). our speedboat stopped at an inlet that was still connected to the ocean and the driver actually threw out chicken parts out side the boats. a few secs later, eagles began swooping down and began (catching?) the bait. The were majestic animals, lords of the skies, the very symbols of freedom. there were three main species of eagles there. the largest were grey with white heads. u could actually see and feel their strength. another species we saw was red in colour with white heads ("Malboro eagles", said the guide, reminiscent of the eagles seen in native american films) and the last species, the prettiest by far, were those with red feathers, white heads and black wing tips. according to our guide( whose name i didn't bother catching or if i did, didn't bother remembering) there were 110 eagles on that island alone. all on the boat stard open mouthed at the 80 or so birds diving and swooping.

another really cool aspect of the island was The Curse Of Mahsuri. That.......is another entry.

2005-12-21T17:42:00.000+08:00

this is unbelievable! the com broke down on the last day of my exams and is now fully functional......on the day i'm going to langkawi. this means that other than this post, i won't be able to do anything with it un til i get back 5 days later!!!

to all TAS members reading this ( i know..i know..i haven't updated much. if not sure why, pls read the paragraph above) i'd just like ya'll to know that all of u rock in ur own , very special way. i'll miss all of u when scholl starts and we won't see each other as much...

currently typing as fast as i can( which is not very fast) cos we r all bout to leave.

sry i'll be missing the camp/BBQ cos of this late vacation...( not the TAS dinner, hpfully i'll be back by then)

2005-11-13T12:25:00.000+08:00

this is soooo pressureising (did i spell that correct? nvrm, engs exam over)... my father told (almost) all his bros about me qualifying for JC and now all my relatives are "encouraging" me to go to JC. all of them said that even with the current rise in the standards of poly education, managerial and therefore well paid jobs are still occupied by thoe with degrees, masters or Phds. furthermore, the only uni graduate among my family and relatives is my sister so they were overly exited with the prospect of having another graduate in the family circle.

in a sense, they do have a point but my only objection is that there are simply more choices in polys. however, being the thinking man that he actually is, my father pointed out that acquiring a degree would mean more choices IN THE FUTURE. the choices increases as u acquire a master degree and a doctorate.

however, all my doubts now is getting into and surviving JC.

of course, if i get into a JC and take up the right courses, i can take up journalism:)
or maybe even law..........

needless to say, i am now seriously considering my options.

its not that i totally despise going to JC...there are certain courses i am keen on taking which requires an A-level cert.....just that there are more courses in polys.

2005-11-05T00:23:00.000+08:00

its the second day of hari raya and i've not laid a finger on anything that has any connection with the upcoming Os...... there were simply too many things to do before and after hari raya.....sometimes i feel like leaving everything to pure dumb luck but even i know that thats just pure dumbness.....

money collected so far: $138
no of new clothes: 2
no of subs finished revising:4 (math, eng, malay and geog)
no of days left to O-levels:2
no of days left to end of o-levels:18

seems my whole life now revolve around numbers....going bonkers and being admitted to IMH seem to be such an easier (and less painful) option.

but as the saying goes...as the going gets tough, the tough gets going

2005-10-24T18:07:00.000+08:00

9:45(i think)
woke up. stomach rumbled. slept again.

10:20
woke up again. tried to sleep but went to watch power rangers and then Gundam seed.
bathed.

12:00
went to religous class.

3:00
reached home.
wanted to study but the kitchen needed help (baking Hari Raya kuihs(tidbits))

4:00
first batch of cookies baked. every one was fasting so we had no idea the edibility of the product. smelled okay though...

4:05
tried different recipe. added red colouring but the biscuit was a light pink colour no matter how much we added. used star shaped cookie cutter. (my maid will not have any other shape)

4:50 (or so)
made three batches of star shaped biscuits. couldn't bake them as we had to start preparing for break fast.

6:30
table is set. tonight's main dish is Mee Siam...maid has just started preparing and frying sardine rolls.

7:15
finished eating. started to bake first batch of unbaked cookies. went to pray.

7:30
the colour of the biscuit turned a paler pink. tasted too sweet. the first recipe's cookies were delicious. put second batch of biscuits in the oven.

8:00
just realised that the bicuits were burnt. the heat was low so it was not burnt to crisp. it was instead a dark brown colour. put the third batch of biscuits in.

8:05
every one agreed the burnt bicuits tasted better, was crunchier and was more attractive. decicded to burn the third batch on purpose.

8:15
dad started to shift furniture away from the living room walls and announced that he was going to repaint the living room walls apple white(?) hlped to first coat the ( you guessed it) the ceiling with a white base coating.

8:30
took biscuits out. took a break and watched a knights tale on Channel 5.

9:30
complained of neck cramps and decided to start studying

11:00
finished maths work sheets. started on geog.

12:00
finished geog. started POA.

2:30
abandoned POA. stared into space for a few minuits then decided to read.

2:40
abandoned Bookworm Club Shortstories No. 98. started to blog.

2:50
i'm tired, suffering from an extremely sore throat, and very worried. my voice sounds very clear but several notes higher than normal. if you think this is a very boring entry, i don't care. i want to sleep but can't. this entry was meant as an outlet for emotions and feelings (emotions? feelings? hah hahah ahaha hahah ahaha......)

3:05
think i'll go to sleep now.

2005-10-22T18:00:00.000+08:00

went to my bro's today...his birthday.....Hakim(my nephew) would not let me put him down..dad says he enjoys a bird's eye view....finally went to sleep (hakim)...got home and watched the new animae(godannar)..it sucked...tired..must sleeeeeeeep.........sleeeeeeeeeeeep....snore...snore

2005-09-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

we'll only be getting back our prelim results next week...

b4 that..those who read this pages do so at their own peril. if you don't like what you read, there is nothing i can say except that these are my own thoughts and MY OWN only. i refuse to write things i don't sincerely feel about (in other words, lie) in my own journal. shouldn't one be honest to oneself and others? anyway, if i had written about you, then i guess it shows a part of my share of imperfections. no one is perfect right? no disrespect but my remarks are my own and may be inaccurate. what is said is said and can't be taken back.

-#this has got nothing to do with a certain speech delivered this morning#-

haahahahhahahaa

2005-09-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

sigh..long time no blog..eversince mum saw the phonebill (we use dial up connection)...hee..hee.

anyway, prelims are over and i only had 1 paper back (F&N-A1yeah!!)...but from what mdm nora said, i think the whole level is in trouble( for maths anyway) she said after marking the papers( she marks paper 1) she feels like vomiting Blood.

sheesh..as if we hadn't heard that one b4...

sigh, i just thought of a time table for the next few weeks
i know i won't follow it but it comforts me to be doing something
had to resist the urge to include 3 hour TV sessions every day
the only thing i'm happy about it is that there are a lot of "LIBRARY" in it

anyway, just thought of a new poem:

Unforgivable

Unforgivable, that’s what you are
How could you,
To me,
To us

Unforgivable, that thing you did
How could you,
To me,
To us

Unforgivable, you know it
So why did you
To yourself,
To us

Unforgivable, you are to many
But to me you are forgiven
So can you please …
Forgive me?

-# end of poem#-copyright owned by Muhammad Hidhir Bin MD Razak

how? okay or not?
yes, i know it doesn't rhyme....nvrm

come to think of it, is there a song with the same title?

2005-08-20T20:26:00.000+08:00

Yeah!!! my internet is up, up and away......
ha ha...first i would like to thank my parents for their financial support, my elder brother for his technical help as well as the person who invented the modem.
know what happened yesterday? i fell asleep on my chair while reading a book( those office chairs with wheels, the ones that can be inclined when leanig against it) and u know what? the whole chair just topple back with me on it. miracle was i did not woke up at impact, instead i woke up when a laughing-fit-to-burst little brother woke me up. then he told the rest of the family.

the prelims are coming and i still can't focus very well. i mean, i do study regularly now but there are still many distractions that are hard to ignore. the availability of the internet now is not helping much either.

Yeah!!!!!~!!!!!!!

2005-07-29T16:05:00.000+08:00

I can Finally BLOOOOOOOOG! ( the song YeAh! by Usher playing in the background)

list of things that have happened since i last blog:

firdaus had no idea whatsoever what happened to my foolscap pad.
prelim orals ( i got 34 marks)
i got b3 FOR MY MALAY MOCKS
.......
lazy to type everything
snore....snore.....(fast asleep: so much for blogging)

need to finish FNN.............